Yule love it

There’s still time to listen to some Kmart holiday music from 1974 and snuggle up by the candy corn fire.

Merry Christmas!

Published in: on December 24, 2017 at 10:25 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Etiquette & superstition: Christmas party games

Christmas is almost here, friends. Holiday guests will be coming at any moment now, and in between opening presents and eating, you’re going to need to find something for everyone to do. Watching Drunk Aunt Linda get unraveled does not really count as something for everyone to do.

ETIQUETTE: If you’re a Christmas party host, think of something the entire gathering can handle. Cards Against Humanity is not the best choice if you have eight-year-olds in the house, unless you want to explain what felching is to an eight-year-old. Limbo is not a great idea if Nana just got her hip replaced. Try a leisurely walk, or Charades, or that game where everybody has to paste a famous person’s name on their head and figure out who they are by asking questions.

If you’re a guest, you have to take part in the activities that are going on, and do it with a modicum of enthusiasm. Chutes and Ladders is a terrible game and that kid cheats all the time, but you better suck it up and play a round anyway. Practice advanced meditation during the terrible movie everybody else decided they wanted to see. Positively suggest an activity you would think everybody would enjoy instead, but don’t force it. If you can’t be pleasant and accommodating this one time of the year, maybe you should just be by yourself on Christmas. Seriously. Let everybody else have some fun.

SUPERSTITION: A really fun game to play when the yule log is burning is a game you play with the shadows that the flames cast on the walls. Look at the shadows of everybody in the room. The shadows that don’t seem to have any heads attached to them belong to people who are going to die within the next year. Fun!

Photo by The Pointe at Kilpatrick via Flickr

Personally, I like a good savory snack

My friend Stephen posted about a mysterious log for most of last week – not an Anglo Yule log, but something called Caga Tió. He posted a video of children whipping a log, and then it became clear that he was making a whipping log of his own. Further messages and photos appeared; the log had a happy face, two front legs, and a jaunty red hat. He named the log Tornado. Tornado was reading the newspaper, enjoying some breakfast, and getting ready to poop on Christmas Eve. What was this all about?

Then the Fabulous Lasker Sisters came to our house on Christmas day, and presented Benny and me with…

a Caga Tió of our very own, and told us the story of this wonderful little guy, who hails from the Catalan region of Spain. Starting at the second week of December, you give the tió something to eat every night and also cover him with a blanket so he doesn’t get cold. Then on Christmas Eve (or sometimes Christmas Day), you force him to poop by hitting him with sticks and singing songs. Caga Tió will then shit out various sweet treats for you. When he is done, he shits out a sardine (or a herring, or an onion) and that’s that.

There are many Caga Tió songs, but the one the Fabulous Lasker Sisters sang for us was a variant on this one:

Shit log,
shit torrone,
hazelnuts and cottage cheese,
if you don’t poop well,
I’ll hit you with a stick,
shit log!

shit log,
log of Christmas,
don’t shit sardines,
they are too salty,
shit nougat
which is much better!

Forty-one years old is awfully late to be hearing about a myth as incredible as this one, but better late than never. I think we have a new Christmas tradition in this household.

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