My bike does not control the weather

I’ve been trying to take my bike in to work at least a couple of days a week, but lately the weather has been thwarting my attempts. Last week, I managed to get one ride in before the temperature got into the surface of the Sun range, and while I work in a fairly casual work atmosphere, I really can’t come in to the office plastered in sweat. It might be different if I worked somewhere else.

So I tried again this week, and on my pedal home mid-week I found myself fighting Beaufort Scale 5 winds. Yesterday and today we’ve been encountering thunder showers. I talked to my brother this morning and he said there has been hail and a tornado where he lives, not 100 miles away from me. He suggested I stop trying to ride my bike to work, because obviously whenever I ride my bike, the weather gets crazy. He said that my bike was controlling the weather.

This is absurd. While it’s true that my bike does look a lot like Miss Gulch‘s in The Wizard of Oz, and she turns into the Wicked Witch of the West, my bike has no supernatural powers whatsoever. It is not a vampire bike. It is not a ghost bike (knock wood). It is an ordinary girl’s bike. The only supernatural bike I know of for sure is the chupacabra bike, which belongs to Jason Broemmel up in San Francisco:

As you can see, it breathes fire and follows you with its eyes and its arms go chopchopchop when you pedal. He also happens to have a dragon bike and a witch bike. I say if anybody’s bikes are controlling the weather, it’s his.

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