Kyle Basa

Back in high school, I collected Garbage Pail Kids cards. GPK cards had gross pictures of not-cute monstrous Cabbage Patch-style kids with rhyming or alliterative or corny joke names. A kid eating his own mucous was Snotty Scotty. A head being preserved in a jar was Formalde Heidi. Most of the kids also had a twin, which was a card with the same image but a different name. Formalde Heidi’s twin was Decapitated Hedy.

Anyway, most of these names made sense in their own way, and I enjoyed most of them, but there was one I could not abide, and that was Hot Doug’s twin Fran Furter. FRAN Furter? How could you think of Fran Furter and not go to Frank Furter? Who was responsible for this?

Then I went back and checked out GPK Series 1 and 2 cards and found Furry Fran, Schizo Fran and… Fran Fran. I guess there was a GPK artist with a thing for the name Fran.

This story doesn’t really have a resolution, but that makes it perfect for today’s cartoon, which also doesn’t really have a resolution. It features hot dogs, at least for a while.


Do the kids still call it a “rager”?

Upon review of this cartoon as an adult, I have a bone to pick with Maurice Sendak and Sesame Street. Watching this as a child, this cartoon led me to believe that I could have a job that required me to work less than 29 minutes per day, and I would still be able to afford hats and wine. Bah. Where is this fabled Smith & Klein?

Boss hoss

Happy birthday, Mister Ross.
Remember to floss.

You gather no moss.
To hate you is imposs.
Discard the dross.
You sure make good sauce.
Matte or semi-gloss?

Eh. Happy birthday, Mister Ross.

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