Oh, residents of Beverly Hills. You are a confusing bunch. One the one hand, you’re allOHMYGOD THINK OF THE CHILDREN when the city tries to build a subway under the local high school. But when faced with a family of vicious white tigers, a pride of lions,

wait – make that two families of white tigers, even more lions, a leopard,

a tower of giraffes, a herd of elephants,

and a goddamned gorilla

mere blocks away from an elementary school, with only the flimsiest of iron fences keeping the beasts from rampaging through the streets, do we hear a peep?

Sometimes I question your priorities.

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