Crypto current sea

Aw, man. The LA River sucks. I can’t even believe they call it a river. Dumb concrete channel doesn’t even get wet unless it rains, which it never does. I mean, how can it be a river if people can race cars on it? How can it be a river if people film WWI battleground scenes and giant mutant ant attacks in it? Can people ride a boat on it? Can they fish? Is there even any wildlife that lives there? Why do they even bother having bridges over it?

Wait.

What’s that?

Fine. Maybe the LA River doesn’t totally suck.

Thanks for all of your magic, SC Mero!

Etiquette & superstition: bee stings

Did you know that I got a bee sting on the bottom of my foot the last time I waded near Monkey Island at Las Palmas Park in Sunnyvale? Now you do.

ETIQUETTE: If you develop a passion for apiculture but wish to maintain a good relationship with the local human community, don’t put beehives near property lines, occupied buildings, roads, bike or walking paths, power lines, underground cables, sewer openings, schools, parks, picnic areas, swimming pools, birdbaths (unless it your own birdbath provided as a dedicated water source for your hymenoptera pals), water troughs, or places where skunks are known to congregate. It might also be nice to provide your neighbors with a gift of some pure honey every once in a while too.

SUPERSTITION: A bee sting will prevent rheumatism, and will cure it if you’re already suffering from the general creakiness. If you want to relieve a bee sting, either tape a penny over the sting area or rub some tobacco juice over it. And did you know that bees do not sting virgins? That’s very strange, because I could have sworn I was a virgin the last time I went wading near Monkey Island at Las Palmas Park.

Photo by justus.thane on Flickr