Outside art

Things don’t seem to be working very well for me so far this month. Things are out of focus or the sun is behind them, and it’s just too dang hot to write about anything.

Thank goodness for the art gallery in this guy’s front yard in Hancock Park.



There were many more interesting things in this guy’s yard, but like I said, things don’t seem to be working for me very well.

Published in: on September 5, 2013 at 6:29 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Long after the getting has ceased to be good

Today is my last day at work, at the job I have held for a little over 16 years. I have been telling people that it’s time for me to move on, find a new path, follow my muse, blah blah. But to be honest, the real reason I am leaving is that I’m scared for my safety. Where there were once funny faces on Post-Its and mysterious creatures made of fruit abandoned in the break room and messages on the garbage cans inspired by Magritte, now there is only violence and mayhem. To wit:


There is a theory that these signs inspired so much rage because our company has been employing a huge number of temps who are not considered fully “employees,” but this is just a theory. Sometimes people just hate being told to wash their own dishes. And then there are more lunchroom hijinks (please click on all photos for larger versions; it is well worth it):


I am supposing he preferred his lunch meat to the free Chinese food, which is perfectly understandable. It should be noted that this email was sent to all US offices as well as the head office in Berlin.

Here is a goodbye note when the author of the above email had finally had enough:


Now, I think this would have made sense if it had been sent to the head office in Berlin, as the photo appears to depict some Pennsylvania Dutch versions of Krampus and maybe the head office would have looked at the photo and wondered, “Have we been so naughty as to deserve switches to our bottoms this year?” and been frightened. However, this goodbye note was photocopied and deposited in physical form on certain employees’ desks solely in the LA office, so we recipients were merely frightened in a vague way without understanding the Krampus tie-in. Krampus isn’t really big in LA yet.

Oh, here is a Post-It that my perhaps-too-dedicated assistant affixed to some paperwork after trying to make some sense of something that would never make sense:


That’s never the answer, kid. Especially not for something as dumb as that pile of paperwork. And then finally, here we come to the grandaddy of  something that would never make sense:


I suppose it’s neat to know that you can send an anonymous fax; I never knew that before. I just don’t know why I got this fax, and I don’t think I’ll ever know, and I think if I stick around in the hopes of finding out, something pretty bad might happen.

So off I go to a new, safer career as a roller derby queen or a war correspondent or something. Wish me luck.

The treachery of images

We have a new cleaning crew for our office this week. I don’t know why we have such a problem getting a decent cleaning crew, but we do. With the last crew, one morning I found a used coke straw on the toilet paper dispenser in the restroom. Another time I found a big unflushed turd. Maybe they had nothing to do with either incident, but there was just something suspect about that gang.

One crew after another gets fired for knocking over plants or rearranging papers on peoples’ desks or stealing random crap. I myself find that kind of activity funny in a corporate sabotage sort of way, but I don’t think that’s the perpetrators’ intention. It seems more due to apathy than a “stick it to the Man” attitude.

I think if I worked for a cleaning service I’d try to get work cleaning offices rather than deal with peoples’ houses. There’s just way less fungus, less pubic hair, and less pet barf in an office. At least my office.

So anyway, here’s what the new cleaning crew has to say:


Whatever, Magritte. Just try to remember to empty my paper shredder tonight, okay?

Published in: on March 19, 2008 at 11:18 am  Comments (2)  
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