The old soft shoe

Or maybe those are

buffing mitts? I was hoping to see a whole series of photos but I only found two. It’s a well-known fact that watching a dog wash a car is a surefire cure for depression, so I hope this person gets their pup back soon.

Published in: on April 12, 2022 at 5:03 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Whoever made this flyer really knew what they were doing. Everything about it just slays me. The exclamation points, the perfectly reasonable misspelling, the idea of a child thinking about a 2-year-old cat that “has been in the family for years,” the P.S…. I probably should have peeked under the photo to see if there was a hand-drawn picture of Judy, but I didn’t want to alter this sweet masterpiece.

Come on. Tell me you aren’t drawn in by the passive voice of the last line. Who will give the reward? For that matter, who will get the reward? I’ve been thinking about this flyer all week.

Go home, Judy! You might get a reward.

Published in: on March 24, 2022 at 5:06 pm  Leave a Comment  
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He sure tortoise

My second lost pet notice helper this week is my friend Xian, who spotted this mind-blower:

Sign on tree reading: LOST TORTOISE - Our beloved 70 year old pet Mr. Torty - Dusty Brown Color - 18 Lbs. - 7200 La Presa - Call 213-361-5626 - Missing Since Nov. 1

Mr. Torty! Go back home. I AM SERIOUS. And also please tell us your secrets for staying so trim at your age. 18 pounds at age 70 is amazing. Don’t tell us it’s all the walking you’re doing around the neighborhood, because seriously you need to GO BACK HOME.

Un poco preocupada

I’m still not recuperated enough to do my secret stair exploring around the neighborhood, but thankfully I’ve got some folks helping me out this week. My friend Janet was walking around Esther’s Steps recently when she encountered this notice:

Lost pet notice with drawing of girl with flowers and a dog which reads "Missing Choco Chan very small size. mini. please call/POKO"

Oh dear. There seems to be something missing here. A telephone number.

A few days later, Janet returned to the same area and found this a little further up the street:

Lost pet notice with drawing of girl with flowers and a dog which reads "MISSINGCHOCOLIKECHOCOLAT/POKO PLEASE FIND"

Definitely more desperate. Definitely someone’s heart is breaking. Definitely someone forgot to include a phone number again.

I’m hoping that everybody in this neighborhood knows one another. Esther of Esther’s Steps seemed to know everybody in the neighborhood. It would be nice if Esther’s ghost were still hanging around Esther’s Steps. Maybe she could help bring Choco back to Poko. I’m not sure ghosts can do that, but if any ghost can do that, Esther can.

a/k/a Señor Lobo

This guy needs his own movie franchise or prestige TV miniseries or something. Look at that expression, chilling on the wicker.

Perro suave.

Published in: on February 10, 2021 at 5:36 pm  Leave a Comment  
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The devil in disguise

Bongo, as every little kid knows, you need to get home STAT. There are only 15 more days until Christmas Eve, which means only 15 more days to prove you deserve to be on the “nice” list despite your tail’s appearance to the contrary.

Published in: on December 9, 2020 at 5:46 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Just a raccoon that cain’t say no

Benny’s mother in Oklahoma passed by this sign the other day:

She asked him if he thought she should go looking for it. He said that didn’t sound like a very good idea to him.

Published in: on December 3, 2020 at 6:19 pm  Leave a Comment  
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We own a (non-Christmas Story)leg lamp and we ate Italian food tonight, so I’m sort of expecting us to get a major award any minute now.

Sounds like we’re going to have to work for this major award. I wonder if Zeus likes cupcakes.

Published in: on May 7, 2020 at 6:59 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Missed Zoom meeting

The last very old lost pet notice that I posted about had a happy ending; I wonder if this one did as well.

I hate to think of these people worrying for such a long time that their pup is wet, dirty, shivering, scared, lonely, hungry, lost, alone, confused, etc., but seeing as the good boy’s name is

Mr. Zoom, I have a feeling he’s done a fair amount of running away before and he’s probably okay at fending for himself. Maybe he went to Boston, the old home of ZOOM, where everyone was having a ball, yeah? My advice is go to zip code 02134 and ask for Bernadette.

Published in: on May 5, 2020 at 5:13 pm  Leave a Comment  
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The darkness and the light

Weight gain. Moodiness and oversensitivity. Lack of sleep. Confusion. Dry skin with intermittent breakouts. It’s either menopause or the pandemic. I think it’s the pandemic, because the whole world can’t be going through menopause at the same time, right?

Let’s talk about the sensitivity. Not too long ago, I would had have no problem whatsoever posting this utterly tragic lost dog notice all by itself

but these days I just can’t. The pathos is too much. If I post this saddest of sad lost dog notices right now, even if I can handle it, I’m not sure you can and I don’t want to leave you hanging like that. I feel like I need to give you a hug and tell you that it’s going to be okay and that this sweet thing is going to make it home safe and healthy. It could happen – Marianne Faithfull just kicked COVID-19’s ass! – but that’s only the reassurance part of what I owe you here. You still need that hug.

That’s about as good as I can do via the internet. Stay safe and in your homes, friends.

UPDATE 4/23: It did happen! This was an old flyer, and Soybean the dog was actually found a few months ago.Thank you for the info, Mara!

Published in: on April 22, 2020 at 6:49 pm  Leave a Comment  
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