Happy Flatulence Day

Face it – St. Patrick’s Day is one of our stupider modern holidays. It started as a celebration of a non-canonized “saint” driving the snakes out of Ireland in the 5th century, even though it’s commonly agreed upon that there were no actual snakes in Ireland at that time.

Okay; no matter. Now it’s just a celebration of Irish culture and heritage. We celebrate it by wearing green, putting an “O'” before everything we say, eating corned beef and cabbage, and drinking beer until we puke. For some reason, none of this is considered offensive. The beer drinking part, in fact, is so ingrained into the holiday that I strongly suspect this story today in the UK Daily Mail about beer being better for your brain than wine was planted by some enterprising Guinness flack:

The study compared brain scans from diagnosed alcoholics with those from healthy adults.

In non-alcoholics the hippocampus was 3.85ml.

In beer drinkers it was 3.4ml, in spirit drinkers 2.9ml and for wine drinkers it was the smallest, just 2.8ml.

The hippocampus is located deep within the brain’s temporal lobes and is also one of the first areas of the brain to be affected by Alzheimer’s disease.

Memory, navigation and spatial awareness can all be affected, and it can also cause feelings of disorientation.

I think the folks at Charles Shaw should work on a counter-attack for Bastille Day, or at least the day this year’s Beaujolais Nouveau comes out. Both of those events are so far away, though, that they’ll probably forget about it by then.

In the meantime, I’m going to look for more evidence about this idea that beer is good for you, investigate Pepto Bismol stock options, and enjoy this clip of the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra playing a beer jingle by blowing on bottles:

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