They’re all dead dogs, Brent

Benny and I went with a couple of friends to the local pet cemetery this weekend. I’m kind of surprised that I never went to this pet cemetery before. Actually, I’ve never been to any pet cemetery before other than a pretty makeshift one on Catalina Island and a micro-cemetery down at the Red Car property. (Re: the latter, I think we had more pet graves in our side yard during the fateful Guinea Pig Plague Year when my brother and I were kids.)

But this one in Calabasas is a proper cemetery, with drooping trees and quiet paths and gentle grassy hills. And it being Los Angeles, there are plenty of famous animals

as well as pets of famous people.

There are people who blame themselves too much for the passing of their non-human friends

and people who maybe need to take some time off from having pets.

There are wordy tributes

and not so wordy tributes.

Funny names

and awesome names

Big guys and small guys.

Pets who were a bit challenging

and pets who were extremely patient.

You might think that the pet cemetery is a depressing place, but there is so much love there that I found it exactly the opposite. If you’re having some trouble these days finding the humanity in people, go find yourself a pet cemetery. Bring along some ghost treats.

Etiquette & superstition: eating with ferrets

According to the Urban Dictionary, “milking the ferret” means to masturbate in a spirited and vigorous manner. Today’s etiquette/superstition post has to do with milk and ferrets, but nothing to do with masturbation. Probably.

ETIQUETTE: (Adapted from a tip found on You may find that you and your ferret have been invited to a ferret birthday party. What a great idea! Ferrets love parties. But what do you do during cake and ice cream time? When you’re at home, you share everything with your ferret, especially cake and ice cream. But don’t share human food with your ferret at a party. Other ferrets will want some, too, which could result in vicious weasel war dancing. If this is a real ferret party, the ferrets will get their own special cake and ice cream.

SUPERSTITION: Drinking the leftovers from a saucer of milk partially drunk by a ferret is an excellent cure for whooping cough.

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