Incisor? I hardly knew her

The expressive eyes on this tooth made me drive around the block for a second look.


So gentle. So soothing… even with that giant cavity near roots. And such fine eyebrows. He’s like an old-timey drawing of Mister Sun. Interesting that this tooth resides just a few blocks away from the tooth that is being embraced by a cobra. Thanks for keeping us calm, Gentle Tooth.

Published in: on December 3, 2015 at 10:16 am  Leave a Comment  
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“U” as in Underrated

Have you ever seen a commercial graphic design that kind of breaks your heart because it could have been so good, but people were too dumb to appreciate it? The tooth here on the Union Dental sign is that kind of design to me.

Just look at that. How many times do you see a top molar on a dentist’s sign? Never, that’s how many times. Everybody goes with the bottom molar, probably so that when somebody draws a face on the tooth it looks like the tooth has legs instead of devil horns. The Union Dental tooth, though, he goes his own way.

And that’s the part that kills me. That top molar design was obviously chosen because it suggests a U. U as in Union Dental. Furthermore, I have a feeling that the person who designed this originally made the tooth stand in for the U, but when he or she presented it to the client, the client said, “Nion Dental? What’s Nion Dental? We’re Union Dental. Nobody’s going to get that.” And the designer did as he or she was told, silently crushed as he or she is silently crushed on so many jobs.

Maybe you didn’t come here today for a sad story and a low-quality photograph, though. Maybe you came here today because most of my “good tooth/bad tooth” posts feature some toothy guy with a funny face. Fine. Here’s what Benny made me for breakfast on President’s Day.

Probably more for a restaurant than for a dentist, but that would make a good logo.

Published in: on February 26, 2015 at 7:01 pm  Comments (1)  
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A little dab’ll do ya

Normally I find these teeth with teeth troubling, especially ones with those one long shelf tooth on top and one on the bottom, but

Super Molar here has a hairdo made of toothpaste. Come on. This guy is clearly a winner. He’s also blushing.

Thank you for finding Super Molar, Jenny Torpedo!

Ozymandias, dental edition

Oh, Theresa. Doctor Theresa. I would very much like to appreciate your self-brushing tooth statue outside your dental practice, but I look upon it with despair. Judging from the number of “Have you seen this?” emails I have received about this colossal wreck, I think that you have terrified much of the neighborhood.

I have this guilt about not liking him. He doesn’t have the dreaded Tooth With Teeth Syndrome (still wondering – can we just call this dentata dentata?), he’s smiling, and there is a very earthy, homemade quality about him. But that last part – I don’t want to associate my dentist with the adjectives “earthy” and “homemade.” It makes me think that you are going to give me fillings made of cracker meal and Elmer’s Glue. You take x-rays by taping a pair of novelty glasses over the lens of your smartphone. No, Doctor Theresa. Let’s get away from the homemade. Let’s try something more professional. Something cleaner and more noble.

Yes. I think we’re on the right track here.

The pious incisor

I wish I could have gotten a closer photo of this praying tooth with a halo, but he was hidden behind a fence. Aren’t you supposed to mingle with the unwashed, not hide behind a fence, Praying Tooth? Just because you’re hanging out with Jesus doesn’t mean I have to classify you as a good tooth.


Published in: on November 4, 2013 at 5:07 pm  Leave a Comment  
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In-context advertising

Normally I am not a fan of the tooth with teeth that so many dentists seem to prefer as their mascot, so at first glance I was going to give the thumbs down to Sonrisa Dental’s little guy:

He’s cross-eyed, kind of grabby looking, his teeth are enormous and for some reason he has a red cross on his chest (or perhaps that is his chin). A cluttered, confusing mascot if ever I saw one. “Come on, Sonrisa Dental,” I thought. “Sonrisa is Spanish for ‘smile.’ Can’t you just show us a nice human smile?” Then I looked on the other side of the building.

sonrisa2Very well, then. Cross-eyed grabby tooth it is.

Published in: on May 28, 2013 at 3:24 pm  Comments (1)  
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A beautiful sight, we’re happy tonight

This tooth (spotted in Arleta) isn’t merely a Good Tooth; he’s a magic tooth, with a magic wand. I love this guy.

Does his magicalness make him a Tooth Fairy, I wonder?

Published in: on May 10, 2012 at 6:24 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Damaged enamel

No visible teeth on this tooth here, so he qualifies as a Good Tooth according to my rules. However, where did he get that shiner and why is he so cool with it?

I found this tough guy on Olympic somewhere in Koreatown.

Published in: on September 1, 2011 at 9:45 am  Leave a Comment  
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No mention of The Electric Mayhem

I’ve noticed Dr. Teeth’s office before because it’s right down the hill from my house, but apart from the name, I never thought there was anything remarkable about it.

Boy, was I wrong. For some reason, I never noticed what was on the side of the building.

I know that normally my rule is that a tooth with teeth is a bad thing, but this guy is making me re-think everything.

The whole tooth?

I’ve started to collect photos of teeth on the front of dentist offices in order to get a nice archive of “good teeth” and “bad teeth.” The bad teeth are teeth that are smiling with a mouthful of teeth. I cannot stand a picture of a tooth with teeth. It makes me think about those teeth having teeth, and those teeth having teeth, and…

What I like is a plain clean tooth, or a smiling tooth that doesn’t have teeth. For some reason the eyes and the mouth don’t bother me. I thought I found a very nice example of a good tooth the other day, but then I looked closer:

For those of you with poor resolution, allow me to transcribe the text on the tooth:

“Carol Gertrude Park is a golddigging whore. (signature)

“She murdered her own daughter for insurance money to pay off a house so she could sell it. (signature)

“She weighs almost 300 lbs. and parades in her bra & panties in front of her kids. (signature)”

Now, I don’t know the whole story here, but I’m pretty sure I can’t classify this tooth as a good tooth any more.

Published in: on May 3, 2010 at 9:17 am  Leave a Comment  
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