Oh my lord. I don’t know what hole I’ve fallen into this morning. I was going to post a lighthearted thing in the vein of “what’s the Saturday between Good Friday and Easter Sunday called?” when I decided to just Google it. That led me to the whole thing about Jesus supposedly lying dead in the cave for three days before being resurrected, but for the life of me I can only count that period as only two days.

Then I read about what Jesus was doing in the cave. He didn’t stay there, but he went down into Hell and freed all the souls and then I guess he went back in the cave so he could go and surprise everybody back on Earth. So maybe this two day vs. three day thing is resolved by thinking that the cave is like the wardrobe from The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe where time doesn’t work normally when you’re in the place the cave/wardrobe takes you.

And then I starting thinking about how all of this would have been fun to ask in Sunday School if I had gone to Sunday School, which I didn’t. Then I figured this line of questioning might have gotten me kicked out of Sunday School. Then I remembered that I kind of went to a form of Sunday School for a while, but then quit because the guy in charge wanted us kids to memorize the Ten Commandments and I couldn’t get them right for the life of me, and my mom was inclined to yank me out of things that I wasn’t perfect at. At least that’s how I remember it.

Then I Googled the group that ran the sort-of Sunday School, and… uh. I remember it as being a sort of innocuous group that preached the common thread that tied all major religions together, and also a place that let me draw as many unicorns as I wanted on this homework scroll we had to work on, but apparently it was an elitist sect at best and at worst maybe a cult that never went full doomsday. So I guess it’s a good thing that I could never get those Ten Commandments under my belt.

Anyway, happy Harrowing Of Hell, everyone!

Waiting for the Raptor

Having grown up in a Creative Initiative household where we learned the connections between all religions, this cartoon makes perfect sense to me:

Okay; no, it doesn’t. Now what’s this about a dinosaur blowing a trumpet around dinnertime tonight?

I want a baboon

Okay, Chanukah Hannuka Hanukkah is over. Time to put away the menorah and get crackin’ on Christmas. Those reindeers’ teeth won’t brush themselves.

Confess all your cured, salty sins

When I was a kid, my parents involved the family in a spiritual group called Creative Initiative. One of the purposes of the group was to show how all scientific disciplines and religions were seeking answers to the same questions, and this demonstrated some sort of universal spirituality inherent in the universe. Something like that.

Anyway, one year we celebrated all the major holidays for all the world’s major religions. Or so I thought. One of the holidays we did not celebrate was Shrove Tuesday. Shrove Tuesday, I have come to learn this morning, is not only the day you confess all your sins, but the day you are supposed to eat a lot of pancakes.

I cannot believe we missed this holiday. And because I didn’t learn the true meaning of Shrove Tuesday until after breakfast this morning, I am going to have to rectify my non-pancake eating status at dinner tonight.

I have also recently learned that slate.com has declared the fad of baconmania to be over and done with, so in the interest of a more delicious dinner self-sacrifice for my fellow man, I will be willing to take any now-uncool bacon off any Fancy Notions reader’s hands. I will also accept any unloved chicken fried bacon and bacon mayonnaise. No need to thank me; it’s just part of my quest to become a bigger human being.

Published in: on February 24, 2009 at 12:25 pm  Comments (1)  
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