The host with the most

The other older gentleman besides Jacques Pépin that is keeping me cool and calm during this global case of the sniffles that has wiped out over three-quarters of a million people on the planet (so far) is someone Benny found while looking for some YouTube crafting videos. Like Monsieur Pépin, this fellow has a smooth voice, he’s very open to letting you experiment with the techniques he demonstrates, and he seems to like young children. Folks, if you haven’t met him already, I’d like to introduce you to The CrafsMan.

He may have other things in common with our friendly chef from Lyon, but it’s hard to tell for sure because The CrafsMan is a man of mystery. I believe he lives somewhere in Louisiana, and he is married to a lovely woman, and he may or may not still have a regular day job of some sort. Other than that, he’s an enigma. A smooth, yet fuzzy, enigma.

There also seems to be no end to his interests and expertise. Do you want to learn how to:

? The CrafsMan has got you covered. If for some reason watching someone make cool crafts makes you feel pressured and inadequate, you can just listen to The CrafsMan talk about some of his favorite things. If all you really need is some ASMR to calm down and The CrafsMan’s normal videos make you laugh too much, heck, he’ll read you some Frog And Toad Together by Arnold Lobel. Eventually, you’re probably going to find yourself imitating The CrafsMan. It’s okay. Lots of other people do it too, and he doesn’t seem to mind.

I don’t know how we’d ever get to meet him in real life, but that would be such a neat thing. I imagine him coming over to Benny’s workshop and examining all of the boxes and drawers and things, and they could talk about different kinds of tape and rubber hams and maybe the baby skunks would come out to meet him, and … oh mercy. I need to calm down. CrafsMan, if you ever read this, know that you have a place to stay in LA when things get safe again. In the meantime, keep on steady craftin’.

Vámonos

Sign me up for a jello car, but I’m not so sure about the getting covered in honey part of this cartoon. It seems messy, and we already have an ant problem in the house.

Published in: on October 1, 2017 at 10:11 am  Leave a Comment  
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Spreadin’ honey

Grasshoppers aren’t known for their awesome food-sharing skills, but hopefully they will remember the kindness of the bees here the next time Colony Collapse Disorder rolls through town.

From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs, guys.

New printer capabilities

It seems that Rik Martino has upgraded from a Sharpie to a printer. It also seems that Rik Martino is angry. Again.


I personally don’t have a problem with pigeons, but maybe Rik could work on cultivating something that doesn’t provoke so much ire in the neighborhood. Bees, perhaps? Pet rocks?

Thanks for the photo, Ebun!
Published in: on March 27, 2012 at 8:03 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Etiquette & superstition: bee stings


Did you know that I got a bee sting on the bottom of my foot the last time I waded near Monkey Island at Las Palmas Park in Sunnyvale? Now you do.

ETIQUETTE: If you develop a passion for apiculture but wish to maintain a good relationship with the local human community, don’t put beehives near property lines, occupied buildings, roads, bike or walking paths, power lines, underground cables, sewer openings, schools, parks, picnic areas, swimming pools, birdbaths (unless it your own birdbath provided as a dedicated water source for your hymenoptera pals), water troughs, or places where skunks are known to congregate. It might also be nice to provide your neighbors with a gift of some pure honey every once in a while too.

SUPERSTITION: A bee sting will prevent rheumatism, and will cure it if you’re already suffering from the general creakiness. If you want to relieve a bee sting, either tape a penny over the sting area or rub some tobacco juice over it. And did you know that bees do not sting virgins? That’s very strange, because I could have sworn I was a virgin the last time I went wading near Monkey Island at Las Palmas Park.

Photo by justus.thane on Flickr

Etiquette & superstition: honey


I originally heard about today’s superstition tip from the Museum of Jurassic Technology, so I was glad to read about it further on Neatorama. Using the Museum of Jurassic Technology as your sole factual reference is about as recommended a practice as using the Urban Dictionary for vocabulary lessons.

ETIQUETTE: Honey should not be transferred directly from the serving dish to your piece of food, but should make a pit stop at your butter plate first. According to our old friend Millicent Fenwick of Vogue’s Book of Etiquette, the process shouldn’t be a difficult or messy one if you just follow her suggestion: “…take a spoonful, and with a twisting motion which catches any drops of honey as they fall, transfer it to the butter plate. The thinner the honey, the more rapid the twisting motion will have to be. And that’s all there is to it.”

SUPERSTITION: Whenever a beekeeper dies, the bees must be informed of the fact and preferably offered a snack of condolence. If they are not informed, they will either quit working or just leave the hive altogether. A traditional rhyme may be used to break the news to the bees:

“Honey bees, Honey bees, hear what I say!
Your Master (insert name here) has passed away.
But his wife now begs you will freely stay,
And still gather honey for many a day.
Bonny bees, Bonny bees, hear what I say.”

Photo by Jenk75 on Flickr

Lickety split

There’s this site called Everlasting Blort that consistently finds amazing things and just presents them without comment. I am kind of in awe of them, because I am obviously unable to do this. Here’s something Madame Jujujive of said site found and shared recently:

I’m speechless, but I have to tell you all I’m speechless. You’re a greater blog than I, Everlasting Blort.

Fancy notions #8

Let me tell ya ’bout the birds and the bees
And the flowers and the trees
And the moon up above
And a thing called “Love”

Let me tell ya ’bout the stars in the sky
And a girl and a guy
And the way they could kiss
On a night like this

When I look into your big brown eyes
It’s so very plain to see
That it’s time you learned about the facts of life
Starting from A to Z
(repeat ad infinitum)

Today’s Fancy Notions are genuine imported notions. How about that, folks? Imported! Made in Japan, these metal insect and avian specimens can be attached to your jacket, blouse, pantaloons, purse, hat, anything that might need a living creature pep-up.*

If you’re not familiar with the Fancy Notions way of dealing with fancy notions, here is the procedure: if you wish to receive this FREE item, email me at herndonofsunnyvale(at)gmail.com with your mailing address, and either the first or the most sincere emailer will receive this fancy notion. I will not use your mailing address for anything other than sending you this notion, if you’re concerned about that sort of thing.

*Please bear in mind that these pins/badges are made of metal, and are not actually living creatures.

Published in: on July 27, 2008 at 11:05 pm  Leave a Comment  
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