Etiquette & superstition: bananas

Don’t give me tomatoes, can’t stand ice cream cones. I like bananas because they have no bones.

ETIQUETTE: Usually I respect my etiquette elders, but I recently came across a “rule” on Etiquette Scholar that I cannot agree with – namely, that at a formal meal you should eat a banana with a fork. No. No, and let’s just take this apart right now. Primarily, this supposed rule breaks one of the basic tenets of modern etiquette: don’t be overly precious or fussy. Putting on airs is the opposite of etiquette.

Secondarily, you are not going to be served a whole, uncut raw banana at a formal meal. (I know ES is talking about a whole, uncut raw banana because they also recommend that you place the peel on the side of your plate.) For the sake of argument, however, let’s suppose that someone is hatching up a new cuisine right now that involves very fancy raw banana eating. How do you handle it? I say you partially peel the fruit starting from the stem end (don’t tell me I’m doing it wrong; there’s a reason for this), keeping the banana in your hand, and break a piece off for eating with your other hand. Don’t just peel the fruit and take a bite from the entire banana as a monkey would. That’s just asking to be snickered at.

SUPERSTITION: If you bring a banana on a boat, it’s bad luck and at the very least nobody on the boat will catch any fish. Some fishing boat captains will go so far as to ban Banana Boat sunscreen, Banana Republic clothing and even Fruit of the Loom underwear (the label of which doesn’t happen to have a banana, but whatever). If you happen to find yourself on a fishing boat with any of the aforementioned banana items, and you want to actually catch a fish, toss them overboard and try praying to the Hindu crocodile god Kompira/Konpira:

Oh great Konpira
please, hear my plea
I am sorry for my mistake
A banana I brought to sea

it was an honest gesture
a noble means of nutrition
I had no ill intent
I brought fruit of my own volition

Please forgive my idiocy
I meant my friends no harm
We just want to go fishing
and go home with a sore arm

We beg of you to release the curse
upon which I have brought
In your honor I consume these bananas
a sacrifice all for nought

Photo by Julian Burgess on Flickr

Polishing the banana

“Bananas… they’re always good for a laugh.” I have to agree. I won’t even yell at you for littering if you place a banana peel on the sidewalk in the popularly accepted “funny” orientation.

Published in: on April 6, 2014 at 10:31 am  Comments (1)  
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5:30, ate analysis

Everlasting Blort pointed me in the direction of some vintage advertisements featuring animals, and when I came across this one

hoverhat
I was reminded of an image I posted on here quite some time ago, that of a monkey hovering a banana in the air

 

bananahover
with his mind powers. The monkey in the Borsalino ad, however, seems like he might simply be amazed that a hat is hovering in front of him. I’m not sure he’s controlling it. I look at it one way and it appears that he’s concentrating on making the hat hover. I look at it another way, and he’s just going, “Whoa,” and holding his head.

What do you think? I’m putting this to a poll even though the last time I tried a poll here I only got six results and that was kind of depressing. Please vote; nothing bad will happen to you if you do, I promise. You can even vote more than once if you want.

 

Published in: on September 17, 2013 at 5:25 pm  Comments (4)  
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The most dangerous game

I had no idea people reacted so violently to shuffleboard. One more reason to never take a cruise.

Go bananas

“Hey, I like your scraper bike.”
“My scraper bike?”
“Your scraper bike.”
“Yeah, I like my scraper bike.”
Zagnut bike. That’s sweet.”
“You got a scraper bike?”
“Nah. I don’t have any arms or legs. I can’t ride a bike.”
“Dang.”
“I’ll tell you what I do have, though.”
“Yeah?”
Scraper chandelier. Pure Chiquita.”

“Shit.”

Published in: on September 24, 2008 at 9:55 am  Leave a Comment  
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