Anchored Hawkings

You might think that I’m posting this lost cat notice because the cat’s name is unusual. Or because all of the last minute hand-edits with sighting locations indicate the owner has been just one step behind a very wily character. Or that “Please help me find my kitty before moving” is kind of a weird imperative sentence to say to a stranger.


But I’m actually posting it because of something you can’t tell from the photo – the fact that this was taped to the ground. On a driveway into a Chipotle parking lot, to be specific. Maybe it was taped there by the owner in the hopes that Hawkings would see it and feel guilty and come home. An interesting tactic that I haven’t seen before.

Published in: on October 11, 2017 at 7:54 pm  Comments (2)  
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Rodney and the doc

This tuberculosis hospital doesn’t seem as posh and interesting as the one in The Magic Mountain, but then again they didn’t try to keep Rodney there forever so I guess he should feel lucky.

Jack be nimble

If you became a double amputee from a work-related accident, would you go find a baboon and train him how to help you do your job? If you were a South African railroad worker in the late 1800s named Jumper Wide, of course you would. You would find a really smart baboon, convince his owner that you needed him more than he did, you would name the baboon Jack, you would train Jack to fetch keys and work the switches and signal levers, you guys would ride your own personal trolley in to work together, and everything would be great until some fancy lady riding the train saw you guys and got worried that a baboon couldn’t be responsible for the safety of her precious caboose.

And then you and Jack would have to prove that Jack could do the job great, and everybody would cheer, and you wouldn’t get fired and  Jack would get an official employee number and get paid, and everything would be great again.

That’s what you would do if you became a double amputee from a work-related accident and you were a South African railroad worker in the late 1800s named Jumper Wide.

Published in: on October 3, 2017 at 7:34 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Vámonos

Sign me up for a jello car, but I’m not so sure about the getting covered in honey part of this cartoon. It seems messy, and we already have an ant problem in the house.

Published in: on October 1, 2017 at 10:11 am  Leave a Comment  
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Ringading dandy

Thank goodness spumoni was never involved. Things really could have gotten ugly.

Published in: on September 23, 2017 at 7:49 am  Leave a Comment  
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Made for walking

And that’s just what they did. One of these days these boots are gonna get this kitten hid.

Published in: on September 21, 2017 at 6:14 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Just talking with my mouth

I never watched Clutch Cargo, so I was unfamiliar with this “Synchro-Vox” animation system. It is really quite a thing.

Published in: on September 16, 2017 at 9:46 am  Leave a Comment  
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Word of the day for Friday, September 15th

Today’s word is neat, but it opens a Pandora’s box of other neat words so this post is going to be sort of a mess. Just to tell you. So the word is

apoculamus. Sorry if you can’t read it in the graphic above. It doesn’t really matter, maybe, because nobody is absolutely sure what it means. It’s a Latin word, and it has only been found once in all of Latin literature. It’s something called a hapax. A hapax is a word that only occurs once… in a book, in everything an author’s ever written, or everything that’s ever been written.

Some of these words of course cease to be hapaxes, because other people take them up – Shakespeare’s “bedazzled” and his somewhat lesser known “honorificabilitudinitatibus” come to mind. And others, like the ancient Greek “polemophthoroisin” coined by Aeschylus, have never been properly defined. How do you define a word that has only ever appeared once? As for the version of a hapax that occurs only once during a writer’s career, do you think you have one? I wonder what mine is. I probably have a few, seeing as I collect these words and then sit on them like a level 3 hoarder.

You can read more about hapaxes in an excellent article on Atlas Obscura here. As for apoculamus, etymologists are reasonably sure that it means “we haul ass out of here.” Haul ass and go forth with your weekend, friends.

Published in: on September 15, 2017 at 6:59 am  Leave a Comment  
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Etiquette & superstition: spitting

When Benny and I were on vacation a few weeks ago, we stopped in to a motel that we weren’t sure was of the highest caliber. I stayed in the car while Benny went to check out the room, and as I looked up to the second floor balcony, some motel guest spat down onto the driveway. I grimaced. The spitter noticed and stared at me a long while. Then he went inside. We wound up staying in the room directly below his. Nothing bad happened to us that night.

ETIQUETTE: Spitting in public is no longer considered an acceptable practice anywhere in the world. Seriously. It’s not. Read the signs. Everyone everywhere is telling you not to spit in public. You can spit in public if you are tasting wine, if you have inadvertently swallowed a bug, or if you are a camel. Otherwise, keep your fluids to yourself until you can find some privacy. At the very least, spit into a tissue or handkerchief.

“But what about Greek weddings?” you may be saying. “They spit at Greek weddings.” No, they don’t. Not really. They go ftoo ftoo ftoo. Don’t actually spit at the bride. For pete’s sake.

SUPERSTITION: Spit from a fasting person will cure boils, blindness,birthmarks and ringworm. Spit from an angry dog or a weasel is poisonous, and spit from a person who has been tickled to death may be lethal. A person’s spit contains a portion of his soul, so you may or may not want to spread that stuff around, but spitting will ward off the evil eye, and will even get rid of the Devil if you spit right between his horns. Practice your aim, friends.

Photo by darwin Bell on Flickr

Laugh, mouse, laugh

This cartoon kind of reminds me of a movie I worked on a long time ago called The Legend of Flashpants. That movie ended more tragically than this one, though, and there was less singing. The female love interest wasn’t as fickle, either. Okay, maybe this cartoon has nothing in common with The Legend of Flashpants except for a mustachioed guy trying to explode his rival onstage. Moving on.

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