A stitch in time

What do these things have in common?

They are all nine. Turn me on, dead man.

Better eight than late

Dang it. I did it again. I forgot my bloggiversary. Fancy Notions is now eight and some days old. Feel free to send gifts of bronze and pottery and linens and appliances.

The author suggests

If you happen to find yourself needing something nice to read that is not too long and not too short, allow me to suggest Gargozo Manuscript. Right now it’s only on the internet, but maybe someday it will be in print form because that’s how I imagine reading it. You could take it into the bedroom and read a story before going to bed, you could take it into the bathroom and read a story while things are working out there, you could take it to work and read a story while hiding under your desk when things get to be too much. But for now, it’s on the internet. You should read it.

The guy writes about horse racing and superstitions. He writes about northeast Los Angeles and the SF bay area from times that seem better than now. He spells mannequin in the proper American way (seriously, when did we stop using “manikin” except for when we were talking about that wooden artist model thing? And why?). His agent is a labradoodle named Ginger.

Read some of this stuff. Enjoy it. Feel a sense of calm washing over you with each new tale of boiled skulls and dishwashing and things on fire.

Published in: on January 21, 2015 at 5:20 pm  Leave a Comment  
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I introduced some very beloved loved ones to boysenberry pie yesterday. The questions were numerous.

“What’s a boysenberry?”
“Is this like an olallieberry?”
“What’s an olallieberry?”
“Why can’t we order olallieberry now?”
“Is there a girlsenberry?”
“Are there seeds?”

I couldn’t believe they had never eaten a boysenberry pie before. By the way, a boysenberry pie is the only proper berry pie; my father taught me that. Raspberries are too delicate and watery for pies, and blackberries are not sweet, very seedy and… geez, what is that taste? Thickety? Bramble-y? Blueberries? Blueberry pie is not berry pie; it’s blueberry pie.

When I was a kid I went through dutch apple, cherry (ooh, but I do love a sour cherry), blueberry, Marie Callender’s crazy-sweet strawberry, sour cream-apple, peach, pecan, STAY AWAY FROM MINCEMEAT ALWAYS DEAR GOD PLEASE TRUST ME ON THIS, black bottom, banana, lemon meringue. And yes, berry pie is the best. The look on my dad’s face when he ordered berry pie confirmed it, and the look on his face when he got that first bite was … I don’t know. I can’t believe strangers didn’t walk up to him and hug him for good luck when they saw that face. It was the most expressive face of peace and joy on the face of a very high-level computer engineer.

When I was introducing Benny and his kids to berry pie yesterday, I suddenly realized that my father’s last meal was berry pie. He and my mom had taken an elderly neighbor to Marie Callender’s for Sunday evening pie, and on the way home, they got in a car accident. The elderly neighbor and my mom were injured, and my dad died.

Sometimes I’m very upset that Benny never got to meet my father, but at least now that Benny has had berry pie, I think he might know him a little better.

Twee for five

It seems I forgot about something this week – Fancy Notions’ fifth birthday. This blog is now old enough to do all of the adorable things David Bowie sings and pantomimes about in this video. I certainly hope it doesn’t.

Published in: on March 17, 2013 at 7:17 am  Leave a Comment  
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That ice is slowly melting

I started this blog nearly five years ago as a way to keep from going insane at work, and for a while it worked. Once I started posting, my life consisted of more than my job, and I felt like little portions of my brain were reawakening from a long nap. And then, things started changing at work. My job has taken over again. People ask unfathomable questions, and I keep trying to answer them. Bosses are asking for 110% while paying me 75%, and I go along with it. It’s dark when I get home. My brain is too tired to post here, even on the weekends. I can’t maintain my blog while my job is like this, and it seems that my job is going to be like this from here on out.

So, I’m quitting. My job, not Fancy Notions. A person has to realign her priorities from time to time. Expect more posting here soon, and thank you for your patience.

Movie marathon

It seems that something happened to me when I went to New York recently. I documented a lot of interesting things but for some reason have been unable to share them with you. I will attempt to rectify that immediately. Sorry for the vertical composition – New York is a tall city.

So it’s come to this

My 1,000th post. It’s really been eating me up inside, the idea of what to write for my my 1,000th post, so much so that I haven’t been able to post for a week and a half. I’m really making too much of a big deal about it. Benny suggested I do what the geniuses in Hollywood do, and just make a clip show. So that’s what I’m going to do. And even cheaper than that, I’m putting this clip show in list form. How cheap. So folks, let’s get on with it!

Remember the fun we’ve had:

Ah, we have had fun. And we’ll continue to do so as soon as I can get over this damned 1,000th post hump. And hey, I think I’ve done it.

Photo by kinerific on Flickr
Published in: on May 29, 2012 at 5:06 pm  Comments (2)  

A celebration of me

Oh hey! It’s my birthday. Well, not today. Not for about two weeks, actually. But hey! Perfect time for you to get me a birthday present. I mean, if you want to. I’m not expecting anything. But yeah.

There happens to be this periodical publication devoted to clip art in a specific theme. It’s called Crap Hound. This current edition that they have compiled is superstition-themed clip art. So that’s two out of three things in the subtitle of Fancy Notions – superstition and ephemera. The thing is that they aren’t going to be able to publish this edition unless they get enough donations from their Kickstarter fund. If they don’t publish this edition I am going to be very disappointed. So maybe you could go to their Kickstarter page and donate some money. And I will be so happy. And maybe they’ll have a future edition devoted to etiquette clip art. I don’t know. Hooray for my birthday!

Published in: on July 26, 2011 at 8:17 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Your number one source

It’s a groundbreaking day here at the Notions. For the first day in I don’t know how many days, the top searches resulting in arrival at this site have not been “big butt panties,” “anorexic girls,” or “A1 steak sauce.” Taroo taray! Not to say that I don’t love big butt panties, anorexic girls, and A1 steak sauce, but I’m afraid people searching for those items might be disappointed when they arrive here.

I think the new stats indicate that I’m finally getting traffic sent here that actually wants to be sent here. Today’s top searches people used to find this site are:

  • tricycle ruined
  • snoopy cartoons
  • beef jerky flickr
  • sneezing etiquette
  • anorexic girls (Damn it! Okay; it’s still on here, but it’s not #1 on the list today)
  • washroom etiquette cartoons
  • waiting for my sissy haircut and perm
  • beer in jollibee menu

Welcome, searchers of beef jerky flickr. I hope you find what you’re looking for. Jollibee searchers, you may want to look elsewhere.

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