Benny got me a 1957 Betty Crocker’s Cookbook For Girls And Boys for Christmas, and it’s inspiring me to resuscitate yet another subject category here that hasn’t seen much action lately: Quick & Delicious Dishes. There are some legitimate recipes in this book and it’s nice to see that adults used to trust children with hammers and boiling syrup, but my favorite items are the “maybe the editor was on a deadline and also drunk” suggestions that you can always count on in an old Betty Crocker cookbook.
The following rogues gallery is prefaced by the encouraging: “Just watch your little brother’s face when you surprise him with the Little Man Who Wasn’t There…” which actually isn’t as sinister as it sounds,
except for the part where you’re putting an orange slice in milk. I’m not sure what the Smiles cereal for the Pig In A Poke is – it’s hard to tell if Sugar Smiles was still around by this time, and it’s definitely not Grins & Smiles & Giggles & Laughs, nor the smiley-faced Kaboom.
What I do know is that if I were a kid making a weird cereal breakfast treat for my brother, I’d choose this one
but I’d call it When The Log Rolls Over, We Will Die, We Will Die. Just watch his face.