Anchored Hawkings

You might think that I’m posting this lost cat notice because the cat’s name is unusual. Or because all of the last minute hand-edits with sighting locations indicate the owner has been just one step behind a very wily character. Or that “Please help me find my kitty before moving” is kind of a weird imperative sentence to say to a stranger.

But I’m actually posting it because of something you can’t tell from the photo – the fact that this was taped to the ground. On a driveway into a Chipotle parking lot, to be specific. Maybe it was taped there by the owner in the hopes that Hawkings would see it and feel guilty and come home. An interesting tactic that I haven’t seen before.

Made for walking

And that’s just what they did. One of these days these boots are gonna get this kitten hid.

It’s complicated

Involved can mean a lot of different things: in a relationship, complex, preoccupied with, confusing. I wonder which meaning applies here.

Not sure who originally took this photo; found via Drew Magary’s Twitter feed

May be covered in mint jelly

If you enjoy deadpan humor and you’re not listening to the Beef & Dairy Network podcast, get thee to some earbuds pronto. Not only is it “the number one podcast for those involved or just interested in the production of beef animals and dairy herds,” but it’s one of the few podcasts on the Maximum Fun network not hosted by a member of the McElroy extended family. (Note to Maximum Fun: too many McElroys.)

I bring up the Beef & Dairy Network today because my friend Mara found this lost cat notice that seems to back up the BDN assertion that lamb is a dangerous meat that leads to all sorts of social problems and deviancy:

Bosco would be safe at home now if he weren’t on the lamb. Sure, he looks fine in this photo, but he’s probably unrecognizable by now; he may have moved on to mutton. If you see happen to see any feline who looks to be strung out on kebabs, please call Tom or Geoff.

 

I’m your Huckleberry hound

Don’t be alarmed.

This fuzzy gargoyle is named Huckleberry and he has an Instagram feed. Thank you, Huckleberry. Thank you for all you do.

I would give a photo credit for the “don’t be alarmed” notice but I don’t know where this originally came from. Now I’m pondering the etiquette of providing a link to a twitter feed that doesn’t give photo credits. I don’t think I need to provide that link. 

Know your flavors

Joan, come here. I need to check something.

Nope. This definitely isn’t Joan. Joan here smells like butterscotch.

 

Greatest Dog Of All Time

This dog looks like the dog from that “look at this awesome dog” flyer from some years back. This guy is so awesome he needs two names.

It’s possible that he’s out hunting murderers, but my money is on him being out in the field getting his exploratory committee together for the 2020 presidential race. Not Neutered, Not For Sale.

Precious gem

This isn’t technically a lost pet notice nor a found pet notice, but Opal was found by a friend of mine who would like to find her a permanent home. Unlike the gemstone, this Opal is not likely to explode, make you go blind, or give you the power of invisibility.

You never know, though. Adopt her and find out?

Elevator pitch

Guys, guys. Moonie & Kilo’s Excellent Adventure. Moonie & Kilo’s Day Off. Moonie & Kilo: The Odyssey Begins. Moonie & Kilo: An Affair To Remember.

Guys?

It’s gotta be better than Dunston Checks In…

Shellebration

I don’t know if you guys have been following the saga of Flash the lost tortoise on the Reply All podcast (I wasn’t until today), but man, what a knuckle-cracker. Back in October, as part of Reply All’s “10 Minutes on Craigslist” segment, contributer Damiano Marchettie decided to further investigate an ad he found on the SF bay area Craigslist:

Lost tortoise: Flash has escaped. Last seen near Gregory Court in the Rincon Valley area. If you have seen this large tortoise, we would appreciate his return. He has been our pet for 36 years. He does not come when you call him. Thank you.

so he talked to the people who posted the ad, and it seems that Flash is quite a character. He likes watermelon, he destroys screen doors, Grandma thinks he’s pretty jazzy. So he went missing, the family did a big press to find him, and then some mailman thought he found him so he dropped some other lost tortoise off at this family’s house, and:

“So the last one we … we posted two days ago was that, ‘We lost our tortoise and in the process of looking for him we found someone else’s lost tortoise, which is too weird. So if you live in Rincon Valley and you have lost a tortoise contact us, this one may be yours.'”

It goes on. You should listen to this story or read the transcript (story starts about two-thirds of the way in; about 24:10 on the audio).

Anyway, the story came to a conclusion at the end of this week’s episode. Again, this starts quite a way in (at about 17:45 on the audio). I don’t want to spoil it more than I possibly have with the title of this post, but let’s just say that it may or may not involve fighting raccoons in storm drains. A turtle-y captivating story.