Don’t be alarmed.
This fuzzy gargoyle is named Huckleberry and he has an Instagram feed. Thank you, Huckleberry. Thank you for all you do.
Know your flavors
Joan, come here. I need to check something.
Nope. This definitely isn’t Joan. Joan here smells like butterscotch.
Greatest Dog Of All Time
This dog looks like the dog from that “look at this awesome dog” flyer from some years back. This guy is so awesome he needs two names.
It’s possible that he’s out hunting murderers, but my money is on him being out in the field getting his exploratory committee together for the 2020 presidential race. Not Neutered, Not For Sale.
Precious gem
This isn’t technically a lost pet notice nor a found pet notice, but Opal was found by a friend of mine who would like to find her a permanent home. Unlike the gemstone, this Opal is not likely to explode, make you go blind, or give you the power of invisibility.
You never know, though. Adopt her and find out?
Elevator pitch
Guys, guys. Moonie & Kilo’s Excellent Adventure. Moonie & Kilo’s Day Off. Moonie & Kilo: The Odyssey Begins. Moonie & Kilo: An Affair To Remember.
Guys?
It’s gotta be better than Dunston Checks In…
Shellebration
I don’t know if you guys have been following the saga of Flash the lost tortoise on the Reply All podcast (I wasn’t until today), but man, what a knuckle-cracker. Back in October, as part of Reply All’s “10 Minutes on Craigslist” segment, contributer Damiano Marchettie decided to further investigate an ad he found on the SF bay area Craigslist:
Lost tortoise: Flash has escaped. Last seen near Gregory Court in the Rincon Valley area. If you have seen this large tortoise, we would appreciate his return. He has been our pet for 36 years. He does not come when you call him. Thank you.
so he talked to the people who posted the ad, and it seems that Flash is quite a character. He likes watermelon, he destroys screen doors, Grandma thinks he’s pretty jazzy. So he went missing, the family did a big press to find him, and then some mailman thought he found him so he dropped some other lost tortoise off at this family’s house, and:
“So the last one we … we posted two days ago was that, ‘We lost our tortoise and in the process of looking for him we found someone else’s lost tortoise, which is too weird. So if you live in Rincon Valley and you have lost a tortoise contact us, this one may be yours.'”
It goes on. You should listen to this story or read the transcript (story starts about two-thirds of the way in; about 24:10 on the audio).
Anyway, the story came to a conclusion at the end of this week’s episode. Again, this starts quite a way in (at about 17:45 on the audio). I don’t want to spoil it more than I possibly have with the title of this post, but let’s just say that it may or may not involve fighting raccoons in storm drains. A turtle-y captivating story.
That was way harsh
If I weren’t already friends with the person who made this found dog flyer, I would probably try to meet them and make friends, if just for their astute powers of observation. This dog does seem a little like Cher from Clueless, no?
Pre-failing the driver’s test, of course. Look at that unsullied face; she doesn’t even know yet that her boyfriend is gay.
a/k/a Speck, Spot, Patch
I re-named one of my Neko Atsume cats “Smudge”
and now I’m not sure why. He doesn’t have a smudge on him. Now this
is a Smudge. I can tell why he has that name even without the helpful arrow.
Can I haz important?
My friend Vicki found this posted to the largest banyan tree* in the United States. An important note for an important tree.
Oh geez. This isn’t just an important tree. I just read that in India banyan trees are thought to be inhabited by malevolent spirits. Maybe that’s just Indian banyan trees though, and this pup is fine.
Oh geez, part two. I just read that in Malaysia banyan trees are thought to be inhabited by beings that swing down and terrorize villagers. Maybe this pup is still fine, though. A plush toy isn’t a villager, is it? And again, this isn’t Malaysia. It’s Hawaii.
The only thing I can find about Hawaiian superstitions and banyan trees is that a white woman might be living in the tree somewhere. And I’m sure you can melt her heart with this notice and make her give you back your pup, Kuroki. You definitely melted mine; I think it was the paw print. Best of luck with your quest.
*Settle down; not literally on the tree. That’s clearly a post.
Answer me
It’s not as prevalent as it used to be, but there’s a thing in pop culture called the answer song. An answer song, usually recorded by another artist, is a response to a previously recorded song. “Southern Man” is followed by “Sweet Home Alabama.” “Work With Me, Annie” is answered by “Roll With Me, Henry,” which is ultimately answered by “Annie Had A Baby.” If you want to get dark, there’s always the song “Little Blossom” (a song from the point of view of a neglected child who eventually gets killed by her drunken father) and the ensuing, if unimaginatively titled, “Answer to Little Blossom” (sung by the father who is now in prison and expecting to get the death sentence).
The song “Boy Named Sue” already has a kind of weird and terrible answer song (look it up; I’m not linking it here), but I think I found a better one, lost pet notice-style. Friends, meet a bitch named Richard:
“Bitch” using the classic definition, of course. I’m sure she’s a very sweet pup.
