Tea party

This year’s Independence Day has gotten off to a shaky start (6.6 earthquake here in southern California) but I am going to press on with something to bring to a barbecue. I’m looking at a cookbook that my awesome friend Julie sent me this week, and am wondering if it’s seditious to prepare the “Russian tea” concocted by Molly and Betsy from an Iowa church sewing group in the ’70s. Here’s the recipe (Molly and Betsy have helpfully tagged this recipe as “Easy”):

  • 2 c. Tang
  • 1 pkg. Wyler’s lemonade mix
  • 2 c. sugar
  • 1/2 c. instant tea
  • 1/2 tsp. cinnamon
  • 1/2 tsp. cloves

Mix ingredients, especially good if ground in electric blender. Store in a container. To serve, use 2 heaping tsp. per cup hot water.

A certain Joan in the group seems to have fallen under the sway of some Cold War paranoia, or maybe she was just a little less pretentious about naming her instant mix beverage concoctions, because on the next page of the cookbook she has provided her recipe for “Spiced tea.” It is not tagged as “Easy,” for what it’s worth:

  • 1 c. instant tea with lemon
  • 1 c. Tang
  • 1/2 c. sugar
  • 1/2 tsp. cinnamon
  • 1/4 tsp. ground cloves

Combine all ingredients and use a heaping tsp. per cup of tea.

It actually sounds easier than the Russian tea; no fiddling with containers and electric blenders. And to be fair, it’s not exactly the same as Russian tea; it’s almost like the difference between Russian dressing and Thousand Island dressing.

If I make the Russian tea but serve it with whiskey, is it sufficiently patriotic for the day? Or is that too Irish? What if I spell it “whisky“? How about bourbon? That looks pretty French to me. I don’t know. We’re supposed to be really patriotic today, right? With the Star Wars theme and “Bohemian Rhapsody” and the big guns pointed at us and such, you know. How about Kentucky bourbon? Man, this earthquake has really gotten me rattled. Forget the tea; I’m getting a case of Tecate.

Might be a Ministry fan

This front yard might not look unusual to you if you are reading an archived copy of this post in, say, October:

but bear in mind that I took these photos yesterday, April 16th.

Maybe it’s some “Christ rising from the dead” display in honor of Easter on Sunday. My bible knowledge seems to be a little rusty; what part had the giant smiling worm and Pokemon bellsprouts?


Polar vortex

Well, Punxsutawney Phil did not see his shadow this cold Groundhog Day morning, which means we are going to have an early spring. This is good news for a lot of people, but apparently Phil only has a 39% success rate. We shall see.

In the meantime, keep throwing your frozen pants in the air and blowing bubbles and making water clouds and all that stuff as long as you have a nice warm place to retreat to.

(It seems I posted this a few years ago, but I have yet to find a decent groundhog cartoon…)

Roe evade

On New Year’s Eve this year, I went to a party hosted by a very generous Russian lady and her husband. If you ever have a chance to go to a party hosted by a very generous Russian lady, do it. I was excited about the prospect of caviar and borscht, but I wasn’t prepared for the magic of Olivier Salad and Salmon Under Fur. Just the names are magic. Oh geez, I need to stop thinking about them. Or somehow convince the very generous Russian lady and her husband to adopt me. They also had cats and a really nice massage chair and lots of friendly guests. I didn’t even find the caviar and it didn’t matter. It was a good New Year’s Eve.

Published in: on January 12, 2019 at 10:28 am  Leave a Comment  
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Some wonderful, magical animal

I am hoping this dear creature was just confused and made a run for it

and he wasn’t actually stolen from the sanctuary. Also, I am relieved that we decided against ham for Christmas dinner.

Published in: on December 24, 2018 at 12:21 pm  Leave a Comment  
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How lovely are thy branches

I’m feeling kind of smug this year because Benny got me a pink flocked Christmas tree, which is something I’ve wanted for a long time but never got before now.

I started bragging about the pink flocked Christmas tree on social media, and the next morning a miniature pink Christmas tree showed up from Amazon.

The anonymous giver has not fessed up yet. It is a real good Christmas this year, and it’s not even Christmas.

So I guess this morning’s cartoon has to be about Christmas trees. It’s kind of anti-climactic ultimately, and I don’t even really understand why the boy fails at the one yard line, but whatever. It features the classic Soviet-era Santa in a jet and a penguin that talks like Porky Pig. Merry Christmas. May all your cotton candy dreams come true.

90 words from our sponsor

I woke up this morning to find that my favorite holiday YouTube channel XmasFlix had been scrubbed of all content. That added to the fact that the “falling snow” feature has been removed from WordPress is making it very hard for me not to stomp my feet and yell, “CHRISTMAS IS RUINED” and not post anything this morning. I’m not going to do that, but I do need a moment to collect myself because without XmasFlix it’s pretty hard to wade through the lousy and the offensive holiday cartoon offerings from the past.

In the meantime, please enjoy 45 minutes of ’70s and ’80s Christmas advertising. It’s more pleasant than you might think.


Published in: on December 8, 2018 at 10:03 am  Leave a Comment  
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Potatoes au gratintude

If you’re reading this, you’re most definitely alive. Congratulations! If you can’t think of anything else to be grateful for today, be grateful that you haven’t died yet. And be particularly thankful that you didn’t die:

You made it, and you’re probably going to make it through the day. Check the Wikipedia list of unusual deaths for more gratitude inspiration, and please remember to chew your food.

Better than a salmonella outbreak

I couldn’t do it. There was a vintage Terrytoons Thanksgiving cartoon that was pretty funny if you excised all the Native American “gags,” and there was a “vintage” (I guess it’s vintage if it’s 29 years old) Garfield cartoon that wasn’t funny even if you excised all the “Jon is a predatory loser” gags. I couldn’t post either one, even though the latter had a theme song by Lou Rawls.

I guess I have to post the one good part of the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving special, the part where Snoopy is preparing the best Thanksgiving feast ever. Watch it four times and you’ll get a normal-length cartoon. Happy Thanksgiving and stuff.

Published in: on November 17, 2018 at 1:06 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Taking inventory on the hallowed day

This Halloween was not a bad one in terms of costumes. I may have been sheltered by the environments I chose to be in, but I did not see one Donald Trump and that was more than fine with me. I see too much of that creep as it is, and while he is indeed one of the scariest things I can think of right now, it’s more like real scary and not “this seems scary but it’s really safe” scary that you want around Halloween.

Some highlights were the dog Illluminati

(seriously, check that out)

and perennial favorites Cheech & Chong:

There was the indecisive Ronald McDonald at the grocery store that Benny saw rejecting a bag of grapes and then some juice – here he is heading toward the booze and energy drinks:

but the winner for me was this modest fellow in our neighborhood:

Peter Pan Hedge didn’t take his costume off all week. That is dedication to the holiday, folks.

Published in: on November 1, 2018 at 6:24 pm  Leave a Comment  
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