90 words from our sponsor

I woke up this morning to find that my favorite holiday YouTube channel XmasFlix had been scrubbed of all content. That added to the fact that the “falling snow” feature has been removed from WordPress is making it very hard for me not to stomp my feet and yell, “CHRISTMAS IS RUINED” and not post anything this morning. I’m not going to do that, but I do need a moment to collect myself because without XmasFlix it’s pretty hard to wade through the lousy and the offensive holiday cartoon offerings from the past.

In the meantime, please enjoy 45 minutes of ’70s and ’80s Christmas advertising. It’s more pleasant than you might think.


Published in: on December 8, 2018 at 10:03 am  Leave a Comment  
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Potatoes au gratintude

If you’re reading this, you’re most definitely alive. Congratulations! If you can’t think of anything else to be grateful for today, be grateful that you haven’t died yet. And be particularly thankful that you didn’t die:

You made it, and you’re probably going to make it through the day. Check the Wikipedia list of unusual deaths for more gratitude inspiration, and please remember to chew your food.

Better than a salmonella outbreak

I couldn’t do it. There was a vintage Terrytoons Thanksgiving cartoon that was pretty funny if you excised all the Native American “gags,” and there was a “vintage” (I guess it’s vintage if it’s 29 years old) Garfield cartoon that wasn’t funny even if you excised all the “Jon is a predatory loser” gags. I couldn’t post either one, even though the latter had a theme song by Lou Rawls.

I guess I have to post the one good part of the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving special, the part where Snoopy is preparing the best Thanksgiving feast ever. Watch it four times and you’ll get a normal-length cartoon. Happy Thanksgiving and stuff.

Published in: on November 17, 2018 at 1:06 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Taking inventory on the hallowed day

This Halloween was not a bad one in terms of costumes. I may have been sheltered by the environments I chose to be in, but I did not see one Donald Trump and that was more than fine with me. I see too much of that creep as it is, and while he is indeed one of the scariest things I can think of right now, it’s more like real scary and not “this seems scary but it’s really safe” scary that you want around Halloween.

Some highlights were the dog Illluminati

(seriously, check that out)

and perennial favorites Cheech & Chong:

There was the indecisive Ronald McDonald at the grocery store that Benny saw rejecting a bag of grapes and then some juice – here he is heading toward the booze and energy drinks:

but the winner for me was this modest fellow in our neighborhood:

Peter Pan Hedge didn’t take his costume off all week. That is dedication to the holiday, folks.

Published in: on November 1, 2018 at 6:24 pm  Leave a Comment  
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All hail Bethesda

Because I live on a hill and no trick or treaters ever come to my door, I’m going out tonight for some Halloween fun at the Griffith Park Ghost Train. For those of you lucky enough to get trick or treaters, you’re probably going to need something to entertain you if there is a lull in activity. Allow me to suggest the very spooky short film “Agnes Keedan’s Secret Plan.” You may never look at wigs or weird neighbors the same way again.

Published in: on October 31, 2018 at 4:59 pm  Leave a Comment  
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I’m not sure why I never posted this ’20s Mickey Mouse cartoon before. It might have to do with the annoying throwaway Al Jolson blackface joke early on – sometimes I post these cartoons with caveats about ignorance of the time and how we shouldn’t erase history and pretend we weren’t ignorant, and sometimes I’m just too annoyed that these dumb ignorant jokes taint the otherwise lovely cartoon. This one isn’t a mean-spirited joke, and it’s about two seconds long, but I need to point it out.

Other than that, this one is pretty enjoyable if just for the fact that there seems to have been either a time crunch or lesser-skilled animators working on certain segments of the cartoon. Notice the weird solid black in between the ribs. At first I thought “oh, this is how they drew skeletons back then,” but then there is the marimba skeleton who has a more realistic looking ribcage, with no solid black parts. What was happening here? Was this incompetence? Or just a time-saving measure?

Booping for apples

I never noticed this before, but Betty Boop’s house seems to have an awful lot of pig portraits in it. And I’m absolutely fine with that. Maybe this is just a seasonal thing with her. I’ll have to do further research.

If you aren’t yet in the Halloween mood, this should help. Now get out that witch paint!

Playing the piper

Sorry for not posting a cartoon yesterday morning. I was busy celebrating Play Music On The Porch Day with some friends. I do not have the skills that young Tom here has, as I did not save any kittens from a well or conjure up nursery rhyme-themed plants in the garden, but I think we all had fun.

Zip gun

I’ve posted this cartoon before, but that post has a dead link so I think it’s okay to revisit now. Last time I posted it, I noticed something that was possibly offensive but now I’m not so sure. Maybe it was something I ate that day. Maybe it’s still offensive but things have gotten so much more toxic that in the grand scheme of things this doesn’t even register anymore.

But anyway, the thing I noticed the most about this cartoon upon watching it again this morning is that there are some delightful sound effects at about 2:14. Enjoy. This transfer isn’t the greatest but it’s the best I could find.

Pumps the old bazoom

A couple of years ago I found myself taking elementary school spring photos on St. Patrick’s Day. As luck would not have it, I had forgotten to wear green. Most of the kids were pretty cool about it but there was one little second-grade girl who kept hissing at me, “I’m gonna PINCH you…”.

I didn’t say anything, but her teacher overheard and said to me, “Oh, that one. She is driving me insane. The other day I caught her making out with a little boy behind the garbage cans.” I restrained myself from braying, “Oh, she’s a right high spirited lass,” which was maybe good because the teacher had an Irish surname and probably wouldn’t have appreciated it.

Kiss all the boys today if you feel like it, little girl. Just don’t drink any green beer.

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