Snowballgown time

It’s suddenly very cold here in Los Angeles. It is. I don’t know how to dress for this weather stuff. I have warm stuff, and I have pretty stuff. I don’t have warm pretty stuff. What if I want to go out someplace fancy?

This looks great, but unfortunately it only comes in sizes 00, 0 and 1. Maybe I could squeeze myself into the puffer cape.

Now maybe some of these sleeping bag shoes as well

and maybe I’ll be okay. I’m ready for your party invitations, folks!

Published in: on December 4, 2018 at 8:40 pm  Comments (1)  
Tags: , , ,

I scream for a new outfit

It’s hot. I’m not thinking straight. I’m looking for ice cream shoes.

No, not those. It’s too hot for those. Maybe a flat.

Maybe. Or a sandal?

Well, darn it. Those look too small. Grr. Forget it. Maybe I need to cool my head down a little bit.

Oh gosh. They even have bubblegum flavor. Now where’s my wallet?

Images via Shoe Bakery, Etsy, and Zappos. Follow links for details

Advanced style

It’s been a while since we’ve had a fashion feature here, so why don’t we ring in the new year with a look at the innate glamour of a creature that has been around since the mid-Paleozoic era but is just receiving fresh attention, thanks to a recent underwater paparazzo? Ladies and gentlemen, meet your new sartorial icon – the feather star:

Her sister crinoid is no slouch in the style department either, with her crimson take on the feather theme:

Ladies, you turn “living fossil” into a compliment.

Published in: on January 2, 2017 at 4:55 pm  Leave a Comment  
Tags: , , ,

Sweet feet

I’ve always considered myself more of a pie person than a cake person, but Chris Campbell‘s wedges

cakewedgesand flats

cakeflatsare making me rethink matters. The cherry pie shoes I’ve seen online are clever

but they seem a little dangerous. I could actually run around town in Chris’s Jimmy Chews and not impale anybody.  Maybe a soft lemon meringue would work better…

A retraction

Polly Bergen died over the weekend, and this gave me a little more impetus to scour through my library to try to find my copy of Polly Bergen’s Book of Beauty, Fashion and Charm. Lo and behold, I did indeed find it, and while I was looking for a tidbit in the book to perhaps help with a Polly Bergen tribute post, I discovered that 1) there was very little in the book about charm, other than the ersatz “charm” I was subjected to in charm school (posture, makeup, walking and talking), and 2) in an earlier Polly Bergen post here on Fancy Notions I completely mischaracterized her remedy for sunburn. I must make amends.

Dear readers, Polly Bergen did not recommend applying “the thickest globs of milk of magnesia to your skin” to relieve your sunburn and avoid peeling. That is just absurd. She recommended that for shrinking one’s pores. For sunburn, Polly’s solution was to “Mash a few tomatoes into about a cup of buttermilk and spread it on your damaged skin like a paste.” There you have it.

My apologies, Polly and readers, for the error. My additional thanks to Polly for providing the world with this image in her chapter on fashion:

Invisible ladies and invisible hovering poops. Or maybe that’s just an invisible party hat. The guy does look a few sheets to the wind.

Published in: on September 23, 2014 at 5:34 pm  Comments (2)  
Tags: , , , , , ,

Princess Lolli

Ever since I read a couple of books on the history of candy bars in the United States, I’ve been trying to figure out a way to sell regional treats so that Angelenos can get a steady source for Valomilk and Charleston Chews and Goo Goo Clusters. I thought I might get a little vehicle and drive around or set up retrofitted vintage cigarette machines in local knick knack shops, but neither of those options seem commercially viable at the moment. I still really want to do it, though, especially since I found my perfect seller’s uniform:

Look. Seriously.

Maybe I could turn this into some sort of long-term performance art project. Anybody know a good grant writer?

Published in: on August 15, 2014 at 6:37 pm  Comments (2)  
Tags: , , , , , ,

Really rosy

Today in fashion, we’re going to take a look at the summer trendsetter you should all be taking your resortwear cues from: the rosy maple moth.

I know a lemon fur bodice with raspberry pink wings and legs might seem like a lot of “look” for these sweltering months,


but if you can find the right feathery antennae to balance this out


you will be the envy of every Palm Beach society matron.

Lilly Pulitzer can suck it.

Photos by (from top) Macroscopic Solutions, Paul Bedell, Brian Biggs and Lynette Schimming on Flickr
Published in: on July 30, 2014 at 6:03 pm  Leave a Comment  
Tags: , , , , , ,

The proudest fellow in the Easter parade

Hey, gents! Are you tired of your lady getting all the attention with her fancy spring bonnet during your afternoon promenades? Have no fear; designer Walter Van Beirendonck is here to help.

Wow the crowds in your choice of jellybean-colored ensembles

or take your cue from the bright blue sky

and fresh green grass.

If you trade the pants for stretch polyester look-alikes, you might even be able to eat all the chocolate eggs without splitting a seam.

I’m waiting for the ham stacked heel

Aw, Lisa Dillon. You go to all the trouble of making these lovely sandwich high heels, and then you call them Jimmy Cheese? Come on. Jimmy Chews. I guess Puns 101 isn’t a course requirement for a fashion degree.


Of course, I’m probably not the intended audience for these; I’m much more of a brisket flip-flop sort of girl.


Published in: on February 6, 2013 at 8:20 pm  Leave a Comment  
Tags: , , ,

Party toes are next on the list

I’m so excited that Prince has new music coming out that I’m going to start wearing salad eyelashes.


You don’t believe me. I’ve done it before.

%d bloggers like this: