Mama don’t allow no political allegories in here

I’ve been trying to find more information about the nursery rhyme “There Was An Old Woman Who Lived In A Shoe.” Apparently it’s not just a cute poem about a mother who starves and whips her children. It might be about King George II, it might be about George’s wife Caroline, it might be about the US when it was still a British colony.

I like this cartoon version where she feeds them and doesn’t beat them, and all she does when it gets to be a bit too much is drink some cider. It doesn’t make much historical sense, and yes, she’s probably going to become an alcoholic if this is her only coping mechanism, but it’s nice to see that those kids aren’t being hindered in their desire to throw down a stomping beat.

Orange Blossom Express

Things I’ve learned this morning:

• Berry-eating can actually be a really menacing activity
• Hymenopterists get really mad when you say honey is bee vomit
• Also, people are arguing about who has the rights to use the name Bee Vomit Honey for their honey products
• “Honey” and “vomit” are two words that start looking really weird the more you look at them

Don’t forget to count Floyd

So yes, last weekend I tried goat yoga – the newest fitness craze that is sweeping the nation.

I’d definitely recommend it, though it was more of a mental health care thing than a physical one. It’s hard not to laugh when a baby goat is on your back adjusting your pose, and all that laughing really does release a ton of pressure and stress. Quite amazing, really.

The goats were more interested in eating shoelaces than trying to count all of us like the little goat in this cartoon, but if they had tried to count us I know we wouldn’t have gotten mad like the other animals in the story. Who gets mad when somebody counts them?

These guys need a little mental health care. I know just the thing that will fix them right up.

And the villain still pursued her

I remember in grade school performing little melodrama skits with The Hero, The Girl and The Villain embroiled in various train track/sawmill perils. It was kind of fun spoofing old-timey melodramas, even though the only exposure we had to them was through cartoons that were also spoofing them.

I don’t think kids do melodrama skits any more. The source material is just way too far away at this point. What do they do instead? Do they do parodies of Saturday Night Fever? The Breakfast Club? Just wondering.

 

Sesame feat

When I was a  kid, I had a real problem with “taking two trips” to load or unload the car with luggage or groceries or whatever. Lurching with five bags, balancing something under my chin – whatever. It was better than taking two trips. Is this a kid thing? I’m okay with taking two trips now, and not being able to take two trips seems crazy to me.

I think Ali and Scrappy and definitely the camel could have benefitted from taking two trips.

Duck tape

Too bad Dinky didn’t get to do an ad for Chapstik. That one would have been easy.

One egg is un oeuf

I think you look fabulous in stripes, Fred, but I’m a polka dot gal myself so I understand your preference here.

He don’t use jelly

As a morality tale, I’m not sure this Toddle Tale works very well. If I were a kid, this cartoon would make me terrified of birds, and I would also want to know where I could get such a large quantity of jam.

Took a walk and passed your house late last night

There are three silhouette gags in this cartoon, and while the third situation reveals itself to be less sinister than the shadow suggests, I still don’t know what exactly is going on there. Maybe that guy should be brought in for a psych evaluation just in case.

It’s hard to embrace an airplane

I don’t blame this pony for being bored with his job, but boy, do I want to know where I can get some of those chicken- and star-shaped popsicles… if only to find out what a chicken-shaped popsicle tastes like.