Here we are, heading into the unofficial last weekend of summer. Now’s your last chance this year to wear your white bucks, suck on a missile pop and finally perfect your
arschbombe technique. Or, if you’re a boring English-speaker, your cannonball dive. If you’re feeling some sort of nationalistic inadequacy and can’t bring yourself to make a splash while using a foreign term (as we all know, all of these dives need to be announced before they are performed), feel free to work on your can opener, preacher’s seat, or watermelon.