Etiquette & superstition: port wine

wineratThe wine rat pictured above is not made of port wine. I believe he was a Cab rat. If this wine had come from a particular winery in Temecula, I could make some dumb joke about it being a Cab Callaway rat, but I’m not going to do that.

ETIQUETTE: A decanter of port wine served in Britain is to be passed to the left. Just think about what side port is, if you know about boats. If you don’t know about boats, this isn’t going to help you any and then you’re probably going to sit there fretting and wondering what to do about this horrible sweet wine in front of you, and then eventually some jackass at the table is going to ask, “Do you know the Bishop of Norwich?” and you’re not going to know what that’s about either, and then he’s going to say, “He’s a terribly good chap, but he always forgets to pass the port,” and by this point you’re wanting to throw a roll at that jackass, but apparently it’s his polite way of asking you to pass the port. Maybe you should learn something about boats.

SUPERSTITION: If a pregnant woman:

her child is going to be born with a port-wine stain birthmark. Pregnant women really need to be careful.

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