Etiquette & superstition: use of non-human excrement

I guess I’m still on this rural kick. I’m not sure what that’s about. I fed an apple to a pit bull today. That felt kind of rural and urban at the same time.

ETIQUETTE: Cow manure is a nuisance to some, but quite valuable to others. It can be used as plant fertilizer, fuel for building fires, and cures for what-have-you (perhaps we’ll save that for a later post). If you find yourself in need of some cow manure and you are lacking a cow, it is impolite for you to simply sneak onto your farmer cowboy neighbor’s property in the dead of night to steal some patties. Seriously. Besides it being rude to steal, you might freak out the cows, and freaked out cows are bad news. Just ask your farmer cowboy neighbor if you may have some. He/she is most likely going to say it’s fine. Rabbit poop is also really good for plants, but again, ask that rabbit farmer and don’t just take it. A freaked out rabbit is even worse than a freaked out cow sometimes.

SUPERSTITION: Stepping in dog poop with your left shoe is good luck, as is a bird pooping on your head. Nazis in Africa during WWII thought that running over camel dung was good luck, but then the Allies apparently heard about this and started making land mines that looked like camel dung, so that didn’t work out so great for those Nazis, did it? Ha. That’s a pretty good story…

Okay, okay. I can’t wait anymore. I need to talk about the most amazing shit superstition – amazing because it’s true. Well, maybe it’s true. It was printed in the newspaper a long time ago, about my friend Rob. Take a look.

There you have it. Cow dung cures warts. Maybe. See, Robbie Zabrecky grew up to be a magician, so it’s entirely possible that this wart-disappearing incident was some early illusion of some sort. He’s a really good magician so I wouldn’t be surprised if he could do this sort of thing when he was 12.

Mini cow photo by pablocomotion on Flickr; newspaper clipping courtesy of Mr. Zabrecky

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