Ozymandias, dental edition

Oh, Theresa. Doctor Theresa. I would very much like to appreciate your self-brushing tooth statue outside your dental practice, but I look upon it with despair. Judging from the number of “Have you seen this?” emails I have received about this colossal wreck, I think that you have terrified much of the neighborhood.

I have this guilt about not liking him. He doesn’t have the dreaded Tooth With Teeth Syndrome (still wondering – can we just call this dentata dentata?), he’s smiling, and there is a very earthy, homemade quality about him. But that last part – I don’t want to associate my dentist with the adjectives “earthy” and “homemade.” It makes me think that you are going to give me fillings made of cracker meal and Elmer’s Glue. You take x-rays by taping a pair of novelty glasses over the lens of your smartphone. No, Doctor Theresa. Let’s get away from the homemade. Let’s try something more professional. Something cleaner and more noble.

Yes. I think we’re on the right track here.

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  1. One of the first rules they teach you in graphic design school is that a good dentist’s logo should not remind the viewer about teeth. Now, I have never been to graphic design school, but I’ve heard this from a reliable source. If you’re designing a logo for a dentist, stick to olive branches and leaves. Use sunshine or ocean waves. Hell, use snakes wrapped around swords. Use ANYTHING but teeth.

    Those that use “the happy tooth” for a dentist logo come from the same school of thought that created “the happy pig sitting in a pot cooking himself” which is so abundant in the barbque business. Happy pigs that are cooking themselves do not make me want bacon. They remind me of Sunday morning cartoons.

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