Hey, lift me up. Do I feel heavy to you? Yeah, I probably feel heavy to you. Can you even lift me up? Geez, this is bad. Not bad because I’m a big fatty. It’s bad because me feeling heavy to you is a bad omen. Well, not actually. If I were a corpse or a heavy stone, and I felt heavy to you, it would be a bad omen according to
zygomancy. Zygomancy is the art of divination by the use of weights or scales. If you could have lifted me up and I felt light, that would have been a really good omen… probably an omen that I would be able to fit into some of my old clothes again.