Trichinosis tradition

Today I learned that Olive Oyl’s first boyfriend was named Harold Hamgravy, a/k/a simply Ham Gravy. Ham Gravy! Olive, how could you ever leave a man named Ham Gravy? Oh, he was a slacker and a gold digger who disrespected you? Carry on, then.

Still. All this talk of ham gravy is getting me thinking about holiday food, and thinking in particular about my disappointment each year when the office fills with sweet rather than savory treats. One year we got a box of sausages* but for the most part it’s sweets, sweets, sweets. If you want to make me happy this year, friends, all you need to do is give me a Party Hedgehog**.

It’s easy; Boris Kumicak and Kai Namslau tell us how (via hurdy gurdy girl @ metafilter):

  • 2 lb. pork roast or ground pork
  • Salt and pepper
  • 1 – 2 onions
  • Olives for decoration
  • Bread or rolls for serving

Buy a roast and trim it of most of the fat. Place the pieces in the freezer for about one hour, or until they are firm to the touch but not frozen solid***.

Use the large grinding plate and pre-cool all parts of the grinder. Grind the meat without adding any ice. Keep the collecting bowl chilled. Season meat lightly with 1 teaspoon salt and freshly ground pepper. Some people like garlic or caraway in their raw pork, too****.

Form the Raw Pork into a Hedgehog. Make one larger, rounded shape and one smaller, oval shape and place side by side on a platter. Form the smaller oval into a pointed face.

Cut the onion lengthwise into slivers. Start from the tail end and stick pieces of onion into the meat, poking out*****. Create rows (check picture for details).

Decorate the head with olives for eyes and nose. Use toothpicks if necessary.

Keep chilled during entire party (on a bed of ice, for instance) and serve with bread or rolls, more onion and mustard (non-standard)******.

Et voila, Party Hedgehog!

*not a euphemism
**not one here either
***yeah, well…
****oh, come on
*****fnar
******not sure anymore, actually

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