Words of the day for Monday, June 13th

Today’s phrase isn’t a “real,” universally accepted phrase… yet. I’m not even exactly sure what it means, but I know I don’t want it. Rob Delaney over at viceland.com sheds light upon the dreaded:

Glitter text generatoras one of the problem areas young ladies may wish to focus on before disgusting everyone at the beach this summer. In addition to ham spatula, some particularly pernicious imperfections are:

“Saddle bags, upper-arm fat, cottage cheese thighs, midriff-bulge (aka F.U.P.A aka “gunt”), flat chest, asymmetrical breasts, butt-beard, bacne, pit-cheese, cankles, surprise tampon string cameos, eczema, ham spatula, ashy elbows, feet of any kind, hairy knuckles, beef knuckles, uncle’s knuckles, vaginal halitosis, bald spots, loaf latch, sideburns, flatbottom, creeping jimson weed, dowager’s hump, treasure trail, Pepperidge Farm, razor bumps, leakage, phantom dangle, and panty dandruff.”

When I get my own planet, I will designate Rob Delaney as the Official Euphemism Generator.

Via The Hairpin,  which is technically a “ladies’ blog” but guys seem to enjoy it as well. And now I’m thinking about that old Irish Spring commercial where the girl at the end brogue-ly chirps, “And I like it too!” Better than thinking about my dowager’s hump, I suppose.

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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. You had me at midriff-bulge, I came at butt beard and then again at panty dandruff.
    This blogpost is a goldmine.
    Think of all the pornsites we can build…

  2. what is “ham spatula”?

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