Etiquette & superstition: pie

Flickr user Afroswede noted in his caption for the photo above that when he visited Pie Town, no pie was to be had. Pretty lame, Pie Town.

ETIQUETTE: I can not believe it. For all my crabbing about the uselessness of the Yahoo Answers forum, there appears to be a genius responding to select queries, and he is humble too. Allow me to present the majority of the response “Anonymous” gives to Dan Smith’s question about the proper way to eat pie:

“1. No matter the size of the slice, it should always be eaten in an even number of bites (not including the crust).

2. Pie should always be consumed starting from the tip, working your way to the crust. Care should be taken to ensure the freshly eaten edge is parallel to the crust.

3. You will sometimes encounter an overly generous serving of pie. These are usually served by well-intentioned folks who have no idea of pie etiquette. If you are served such a slice, remember the Golden Pie Rule, “One forkful equals one bite.” If, after a few bites, you find that the slice is too wide for one forkful, it is permissible to break that particular piece (and the remaining pieces) into 2 manageable bites, continuing on to the crust. Be mindful of Rule #1. If you find that the slice is too big to do that, politely tell the server we’re no longer living in the Neolithic Period and demand a civilized slice.

4. Once you’ve eaten the heart of the pie, the last remaining step is the crust. There are only 2 acceptable ways to address the crust, also known as “Bread’s Evil Cousin.” If the color, texture, and general overall appearance of the crust is to your liking, it must be broken into 3 separate pieces, no matter the size of it. These pieces may or may not be dunked into the beverage of your choice. If, however, the crust has bits of baked-on pie goo, burnt in any manner, or has the consistency of concrete, it is perfectly acceptable to leave it on your plate, unbroken of course.”

Anonymous, please stop being anonymous. I have questions to ask you.

SUPERSTITION: David Sedaris once had a meal at the Apple Pan restaurant in my fair city in which he was told by one of his dining mates that when he ate a piece of pie, he was supposed to eat from the crust end toward the point, and when he reached the last bite at the point he was supposed to make a wish. The person who put this theory forth acted like David Sedaris was really stupid for not knowing about it, but I have found no evidence anywhere that this is a legitimate superstition.

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