When I was in high school, I wrote a humor column for the school paper. One column was about my not getting accepted to the college of my choice; against my advisor’s judgment, I titled the column “If You See Kay.” My advisor’s point was that I could have gotten away with it without much parental/administrational backlash (people actually read this newspaper, see) if I had bothered to set up a fictional “Kay” in the column, rather than just letting that dumb chestnut of a joke float unmoored in the headline. But I hadn’t bothered, and the paper came out the morning of the day I had a scholarship interview with my second-choice college’s representative… who just happened to be the principal of our high school, who had been fielding obscenity complaints from parents since lunchtime. I did not get that scholarship.
Anyway, I don’t know why I’m telling you this. My friend Lyman found this impassioned bit of electioneering up in San Francisco this weekend; he directed my attention to the fine print at the bottom. I’m guessing that this anti-Dan Neel committee definitely has meetings on Tuesdays, and could possibly be headed up by my old friend Kay. Good luck against this tarnishment, Dan. Kay can really fuck things up for a person.