The winter of our contentment

Now’s the time of the season where you probably need a conflict-free few moments, and I’m going to give them to you. There are a couple of moments of mild drama here, but they’re easily rectified. Sneezing raccoons and goats being weird, that’s mainly what you’re going to see. Have some cocoa and take a breath.

Published in: on December 15, 2018 at 8:59 am  Leave a Comment  
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90 words from our sponsor

I woke up this morning to find that my favorite holiday YouTube channel XmasFlix had been scrubbed of all content. That added to the fact that the “falling snow” feature has been removed from WordPress is making it very hard for me not to stomp my feet and yell, “CHRISTMAS IS RUINED” and not post anything this morning. I’m not going to do that, but I do need a moment to collect myself because without XmasFlix it’s pretty hard to wade through the lousy and the offensive holiday cartoon offerings from the past.

In the meantime, please enjoy 45 minutes of ’70s and ’80s Christmas advertising. It’s more pleasant than you might think.

 

Published in: on December 8, 2018 at 10:03 am  Leave a Comment  
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Snowballgown time

It’s suddenly very cold here in Los Angeles. It is. I don’t know how to dress for this weather stuff. I have warm stuff, and I have pretty stuff. I don’t have warm pretty stuff. What if I want to go out someplace fancy?

This looks great, but unfortunately it only comes in sizes 00, 0 and 1. Maybe I could squeeze myself into the puffer cape.


Now maybe some of these sleeping bag shoes as well

and maybe I’ll be okay. I’m ready for your party invitations, folks!

Published in: on December 4, 2018 at 8:40 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Merry Mary, where are you going to?

This is a short cartoon, but it packs a wallop. I was all ready to riff on Mary with the little lamb being called “contrary” even though I’m pretty sure the contrarian and the lamb girl were two different Marys, but then the mayhem started and it washed away all Mary-related conflicts. Cats in pants wrecking a Christmas tree, dogs in pants getting all Dada on a piano, a psychedelic optical breakdown featuring mice, and lots and lots of frolicking.

Potatoes au gratintude

If you’re reading this, you’re most definitely alive. Congratulations! If you can’t think of anything else to be grateful for today, be grateful that you haven’t died yet. And be particularly thankful that you didn’t die:

You made it, and you’re probably going to make it through the day. Check the Wikipedia list of unusual deaths for more gratitude inspiration, and please remember to chew your food.

Better than a salmonella outbreak

I couldn’t do it. There was a vintage Terrytoons Thanksgiving cartoon that was pretty funny if you excised all the Native American “gags,” and there was a “vintage” (I guess it’s vintage if it’s 29 years old) Garfield cartoon that wasn’t funny even if you excised all the “Jon is a predatory loser” gags. I couldn’t post either one, even though the latter had a theme song by Lou Rawls.

I guess I have to post the one good part of the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving special, the part where Snoopy is preparing the best Thanksgiving feast ever. Watch it four times and you’ll get a normal-length cartoon. Happy Thanksgiving and stuff.

Published in: on November 17, 2018 at 1:06 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Black rainbow

Today’s cartoon is really screaming for a color restoration, but it’s still pretty great. Also watch for the proto-Flaming Lips bubble act. I know Parliament-Funkadelic is supposed to be the inspiration for Wayne Coyne’s bubble walking, but I have a feeling the girl here made an early imprint as well.

Word of the day for Wednesday, November 7th

Well, I don’t know. I don’t feel like talking politics today. I just don’t. Let’s go to Scotland. Let’s learn a word for pig. It would be great if that word were something fun sounding like

grumphie. Hey, we’re in luck according to Merriam-Webster. “Grumphie: pig, specifically sow. Chiefly Scottish.” Thank you for brightening my day with your name, Scottish pigs.

Published in: on November 7, 2018 at 10:21 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Square dance

Since this reel was culled from animations made for Times Square light-up billboards, you’re going to have to provide your own soundtrack. Or zone out on the subtle rhythm you can hear if you turn it up. I like how this has voluntary pixelation at certain points. 8-bit cult prognostication.

Published in: on November 3, 2018 at 9:27 am  Leave a Comment  
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Taking inventory on the hallowed day

This Halloween was not a bad one in terms of costumes. I may have been sheltered by the environments I chose to be in, but I did not see one Donald Trump and that was more than fine with me. I see too much of that creep as it is, and while he is indeed one of the scariest things I can think of right now, it’s more like real scary and not “this seems scary but it’s really safe” scary that you want around Halloween.

Some highlights were the dog Illluminati


(seriously, check that out)


and perennial favorites Cheech & Chong:

There was the indecisive Ronald McDonald at the grocery store that Benny saw rejecting a bag of grapes and then some juice – here he is heading toward the booze and energy drinks:


but the winner for me was this modest fellow in our neighborhood:

Peter Pan Hedge didn’t take his costume off all week. That is dedication to the holiday, folks.

Published in: on November 1, 2018 at 6:24 pm  Leave a Comment  
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