I know a fellow named Tomatoes, and it was his birthday yesterday. I don’t know if Tomatoes is his real name; I don’t know a lot about Tomatoes, actually. One of the few things I know about Tomatoes is that when he was a kid, he played soccer across the street from a bunch of hippo goddesses that protected a mummified baboon. Also, I know that he’s not in this cartoon:
Anyway, happy birthday, Tomatoes!