Return of the appropriate pig

As we may have discussed here before, Happy Ham Syndrome is that phenomenon that afflicts depictions of pigs at places of business that sell pork and ham. The pigs suffering from this syndrome are always delighted to be at a place that serves cuts of them. Sometimes they are butchering themselves. Frankly, it’s horrifying.

So it is with great relief that I present the following tableau, that of a pig – when faced with the spectre of becoming a soft taco -

cerdotaco
sweating

cerdoinside
and pissing itself in terror.

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I don’t even know what’s going on here, but it’s obviously not a good thing for our porcine buddy.

cerdowiener
I applaud you, Appropriate Pig #2, for placing the appropriate gravity on your situation. I always heard that pigs were intelligent creatures.

Published in: on May 9, 2014 at 5:31 pm  Leave a Comment  
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A torte is not the same thing as a torta

My birthday is in a few days, and this year I’m going to make my own cake. I have two cookbooks devoted entirely to cake recipes so this shouldn’t be too difficult, right?

porkcake
Pork Cake

1 pound ground salt pork
1 pint water
2 cups sugar
2 teaspoons soda
2 teaspoons cinnamon
1 teaspoon allspice
1/2 teaspoon cloves
2 teaspoons vanilla
1 teaspoon salt
6 cups flour
1 pound raisins
1 pound currants

Pour the water, boiling, over the ground salt pork. When cold, add sugar, soda, cinnamon and the other spices and ingredients in order. Blend thoroughly. Place in large pans and bake in slow oven for four hours.

Okay, this may be a little more difficult than I originally thought.

Recipe from Aunt Sally’s Favorite Recipes, via Cakes Men Like
Published in: on August 6, 2013 at 8:26 pm  Leave a Comment  
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A unique middle name

Consumerist reader Lee encountered Greenridge Farm’s “mini piglet” at a Costco last week.


Delitoyoudirect.com
landed an exclusive interview with the piglet, which I will reprint in its entirety:

“Hello! My name is Banquet Fiesta Piglet!
My middle name IS BONELESS!!!
I’M EASY, just fire up the oven to 300F (I fit almost each of them).
Cover me with the aluminum foil for the first 2 hours, then bake me at 350-400F for additional 1.5 hour or until golden brown.
I’LL BE PERFECTLY CRISP AND TASTY.
Serves from 8-12 HUNGRY GUESTS.”
I can’t tell if I want to meet Banquet in person or not, but he is certainly an intriguing personality.
Published in: on November 14, 2011 at 12:42 pm  Leave a Comment  
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