Memorial Day is upon us once again. While this day is typically spent painting the house or barbecuing or packing away our winter clothes, I ask that you all take a moment to remember the true meaning of the day and pay tribute to those fallen cobblers and shoe elves who have given their lives so that we may have nice shoes.
ETIQUETTE: One of the hoariest and well-known rule of etiquette is the idea that it is only proper to wear white shoes between Memorial Day and Labor Day. This is an outmoded rule, however, and only refers to the basic idea that one should wear seasonally-appropriate attire. Even the most respected etiquette authorities disagree about the “no white shoes before Memorial Day” rule, so you should just use your best judgment. Beware, however, that in San Francisco if you wear white shoes you will be assumed to be either a tourist or a hooker.
SUPERSTITION: Shoes do much more than just protect your feet, if you know how to use them. You can stop a dog from howling by taking off your left shoe and turning it upside down. You can cure a cramp and prevent nightmares by leaving your shoes outside your bedroom door with one toe pointing toward the door and one toe pointing away from the door. You can counter-act any evil spells put on you by spitting in your right shoe before putting it on. You can cure toothache by putting your left shoe and sock on before your right shoe and sock. And a girl can learn the identity of her future husband by following these simple steps: 1) Place your shoes in the form of a letter T when you go to bed, saying “I place my shoes like a letter T, in hopes my true love I shall see, in his apparel and his array, as he is now and every day;” 2) have the shoes trade places in the T formation, and repeat the chant; 3) trade the shoes’ places again and repeat the chant once more; 4) write each letter of the alphabet on a separate scrap of paper; 5) then put the pieces of paper in a bowl under your bed. We’re almost there; 6) go to bed, and don’t speak; 7) in the morning, examine the bowl; 8) if any of the letters are now facing upward, they will give you a clue about the name of your future husband. Wait; just a clue after all that? What a rip-off.
Photo by SewPixie on flickr
