ETIQUETTE: The appropriate wine to serve with Chinese food is champagne. Clearly there should be more champagne delivery services, but maybe somebody is working on that. When opening a bottle of champagne, unless you’re a football player you don’t pop the cork out with the intention of maximum velocity and fizz. Twist the cork out carefully and pour the champagne into the glass at an angle to avoid a big foaming head (champagne people call the foam “mousse”) and a waste of bubble gas. And the glass you’re supposed to use? Unfortunately, it seems that the current preferred glass is the long and skinny flute. I find that a shame because I prefer the more old fashioned coupe-style glass pictured above. One reason is because you can’t use flutes to make a champagne tower and champagne towers are hilarious, and the other reason is I like the legend that the coupe was shaped in the form of Marie Antoinette’s left breast. I hope the champagne flute’s form does not mimick the shape of anyone’s breast.
SUPERSTITION: A new ship is supposed to be christened with the breaking of a wine bottle (preferably champagne bottle) against its bow. Supposedly it is a very bad omen if the bottle does not break, but considering the glass thickness of a champagne bottle, it seems a miracle that any ships are sailing at all. If you’re at the christening of a baby instead of a ship, or at a wedding, or some other celebratory event, you should make a slit in the cork after you’ve opened the bottle and put a coin in the slit. This will ensure good fortune for the people being celebrated. Some people put a gold piece into their champagne glass in the hopes of gaining wealth, but this seems to be more of a choking hazard than anything. Maybe some opportunistic ass somewhere choked on the gold piece and successfully sued the treasury for making a dangerous gold piece that someone could choke on, but that sounds like a pretty iffy gamble to take, and you don’t want to be that person anyway.
I think I’m sick of the Olympics already. All this focus on “medalling” and tallying what country is “ahead”, all these fanfarons fanfaronading… it’s just no fun. It’s not nearly as fun as saying the word
which is very fun indeed. Fanfaronade! Fanfaronade! I might just keep saying that instead of watching the Olympics. Oh, what does it mean? It means a blustering empty boast, although sometimes it just literally means a trumpety sort of fanfare. Toot!
Benny had to leave work early today so he didn’t get to be on set with Chaz Bono. He’s never been on set with Chaz Bono before, but he was on set with Chastity Bono once. So, the same but different.
I wonder if Chaz Bono has seen this cartoon, and if he has, if it makes him sad. It’s kind of jarring to me to see Sonny run into the pole like that, and he’s not even my dad. I once rented my ’67 Plymouth Valiant to a film production for use in a scene depicting the main character’s father’s death by car accident, and some years later my dad actually died in a car accident, so maybe I understand. And maybe Chaz has never seen this cartoon.
There was a time when I would mock a person for having a foldy bike.
I’m glad I have matured somewhat. What I wouldn’t give for that bike today….
We’ve discussed neighborhood architectural amazement Castle Grayskull here before. The sconces, the stained glass depictions of medieval knights, the retractable flails, the guard zebra. At one point, Benny noted that all it needed was a moat. Et voila, the front entrance
now has a moat.
Upon seeing the moat, Benny’s eight-year-old son remarked with some concern about the problems a person might have if they were, say, carrying groceries and running into the house in a hurry. What if they tripped?
I don’t think there’s cause for alarm, myself. For one thing, I believe that every move made by the owners of Castle Grayskull will be sure-footed, and for another thing, I don’t think these guys have to buy groceries. I’m pretty sure they have a trained falcon that provides them with all the food they need. But I was curious about the moat, as it’s currently empty.
What will it be filled with? Tiny alligators? Acid? Fire? I can’t wait to see this.
We did it. After all of the words that Germany has given to us, we are finally able to give back:
Shitstorm! Germany has found a word in the English language so perfect that they are adopting it as their own. I am still finding it hard to believe that, with all their incredible compound words, Germany did not have a word to adequately describe “a course of action that would appear to lead to a good outcome, but when undertaken, leads to a situation that is utterly out of control beyond human comprehension,” but perhaps that is just my American sense of inadequacy. And I do have to admit that “Scheiße sturm,” for all its fancy characters, does not have the same oomph as
Gort found this the other day. I’m sure Anne Wheeler is upset, but maybe she can take some solace in the fact that she’s at least one step ahead of me. I don’t know where my destiny is either, and I’m pretty sure it doesn’t have an Avid id chip.
… and maybe some cosmetic glitter that won’t cause eye irritation.
Thanks to John Ramirez and Dave Markey for the King Diamond link
There are two pictures on the outside of Guss Meat. Actually one picture rendered (hey!) by two different artists. One is sort of pastoral, with an old-fashioned truck carrying animals resigned to their fate to the abattoir:
The other one was painted by an artist with a cruder technique. The truck is more modern and sort of… drafted rather than drawn, and the distortion of the animals conveys a sort of anxious and queasy desperation that the other one does not:
Then again, when I look back at the first picture, I start to wonder if the expression on the animals’ faces is one of silent judgment rather than simple acceptance of their fate. I can’t tell. Which picture do you like better?