There is a very fine tooth on Glendale Boulevard who appears to be an expert in latin dance.
I believe this move is called arrastre. Or is it gancho?
A block away there is a tooth who appears to be not such an expert; it seems he has broken his leg.
Keep practicing, tooth. You’ll be enjoying a merengue in no time.
Today we honor Saint Valentine, who was beaten and beheaded on February 14th for performing illegal marriages in third century Rome. Happy day of torture.
I would like to celebrate the day by expressing my gratitude for a number of failed loves. For one thing, if that handmade valentine with a drawing of a black widow had done its magic back in preschool, I could be married to a concrete salesman today. Really. I looked that guy up on the internet.
I really like my dentist. My dentist is an older lady who lets her poor little crippled dog sit on my lap during the examination if I want it to. One of the things that I like about my dentist, besides her poor little crippled dog, is her confounding wall art.
I guess at this point I should make the distinction that I like my dentist for having this wall art, but I do not like this wall art. And that is what is confounding about it. I do not even want to call this art. It seems so cheap and dumb, and it pisses me off that it’s so cheap and dumb and yet this guy is numbering the prints because they are a limited edition. Do the fact that this is pissing me off make it art? Confounding.
Anyway, this dentifrice panorama features:
and this might lead one to believe that this will be some Pogo-esque biting satire. No. What this will be is just some more confounding crap. A tooth playing jump rope.
And this tooth has one tooth. If my teeth are going to have teeth, I want each of them to have a full set of teeth, not a single tooth. This is not a good advertisement for a dentist. Nor would it be a good advertisement for an optometrist, but that’s neither here nor there. We’re talking about dentists. And I like mine.
This tooth (spotted in Arleta) isn’t merely a Good Tooth; he’s a magic tooth, with a magic wand. I love this guy.
Does his magicalness make him a Tooth Fairy, I wonder?
No visible teeth on this tooth here, so he qualifies as a Good Tooth according to my rules. However, where did he get that shiner and why is he so cool with it?
I found this tough guy on Olympic somewhere in Koreatown.
Look at this little tough guy.
At first I thought the line above his eyes was some sort of cocked eyebrow representation, like the tooth was saying, “Aw yeah, wiseguy?” Now I think it’s just supposed to indicate the indentation on the top of a molar. Either way, I think this is a good tooth.
Incidentally, this tooth is on the main sign for the dental office that was featured in the first post of this category – the tooth riddled with vicious accusations. That tooth, I’m either happy or sorry to say, has since been given a thorough cleaning, and his/her companion tooth has also been restored.
I would say Companion Tooth is smirking, but he/she doesn’t look as streetwise as the first tooth up top. Maybe Companion Tooth is just practicing the meditative half-smile.
I’ve noticed Dr. Teeth’s office before because it’s right down the hill from my house, but apart from the name, I never thought there was anything remarkable about it.
Boy, was I wrong. For some reason, I never noticed what was on the side of the building.
I know that normally my rule is that a tooth with teeth is a bad thing, but this guy is making me re-think everything.
The city of Uzamal Izamal, Mexico has a very large convent. There was some talk on a plaque at the convent about them having the second largest atrium in the world. I’m not sure about that, but there were some definite points of interest at the convent besides the very large atrium:
So that was Uzamal Izamal (! darnit). Apparently they are very fond of whitewash in the Yucatan, because somewhere between Valladolid and Ticul, I found another masterpiece in the midst of being covered up.
This is the first time I’ve seen a tooth wearing sneakers, and I almost didn’t get to see it. Stop with the whitewash, folks. That is one sporty tooth there.
Why does this happen? Why do dentists use business mascots that are teeth with their own set of teeth? Do optometrists use jaunty eyeballs with their own eyeballs to advertise their services? Do ear, nose, and throat doctors decorate their offices with sinuses attending to an internal set of sinuses? As I’ve said before, I don’t mind so much a tooth with eyes, and even the tooth with eyes and a smile. It’s the extra teeth that are wrong. Don’t get me started about this guy’s eyebrows. That’s a whole other thing.
I’ve started to collect photos of teeth on the front of dentist offices in order to get a nice archive of “good teeth” and “bad teeth.” The bad teeth are teeth that are smiling with a mouthful of teeth. I cannot stand a picture of a tooth with teeth. It makes me think about those teeth having teeth, and those teeth having teeth, and…
What I like is a plain clean tooth, or a smiling tooth that doesn’t have teeth. For some reason the eyes and the mouth don’t bother me. I thought I found a very nice example of a good tooth the other day, but then I looked closer:
For those of you with poor resolution, allow me to transcribe the text on the tooth:
“Carol Gertrude Park is a golddigging whore. (signature)
“She murdered her own daughter for insurance money to pay off a house so she could sell it. (signature)
“She weighs almost 300 lbs. and parades in her bra & panties in front of her kids. (signature)”
Now, I don’t know the whole story here, but I’m pretty sure I can’t classify this tooth as a good tooth any more.
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