Another genus enters the fray

According to some news out of Merseyside this summer, baboons have joined in on the ever-escalating human vs. primate war that I have been keeping my eye on. And it goes without saying that they’re not on our side.

The Daily Mail is reporting that the baboons at the Knowsley Safari Park, previously thought merely to be petty vandals and license plate thieves, have now taken to exhibiting deviant sexual behavior in the form of stealing bras and panties from car rooftop luggage racks and rolling around in a semi-engorged state while drooling over said garments. They also are apparently on the lookout for inflatable sex toys:

So far, the park has issued “Anti Social Baboon Orders” on the animals and there are rumors of military deployment, but there are no confirmed reports about the latter. I will of course continue to follow the story; feel free to post any tips of your own in the comment section.

Happy Labor Day

Normally I would consider using this moving company based solely on the beauty of its logo:

and knowing that they have experience transporting monkey and gladiator leg tables

would seal the deal for me. However, today I’m needing help with some furniture with rather unusual dimensions

so I think I’m going to go with these people instead:

especially if this guy

is working today.

All photos taken on York Blvd. in Highland Park. Thanks for the tip, Wag!

The future is Plastic

I’m sure you’ve seen Whiplash the dog-riding monkey before, and while he cracks me up, his steed always makes me a little sad. That poor dog seems so terrified to have a monkey on his back. I guess I can’t blame him. Nobody wants a monkey on their back, except for maybe the Great Dane in this film:

Of course, the Lonesome Stranger is no ordinary monkey.

Back from the portal

Sorry for the late posting today, but I spent yesterday building a City of The Future with some friends and I just got back. Sometimes it takes a while to get back from the future.

For a while, it seemed like the city was going to be a crowded and violent dystopia

ruled by a giant silver head named Zubox,

but then this other guy came along

and everything was good again.

Hooray for our monkey overlord of the future!

First and last photos by Benny, photos of Zubox and Smart Chimpgod by Michael R. Perry; other photos by me

That makes it unanimous

I guess we don’t have live stage shows featuring monkeys acting like humans anymore because it would be kind of boring to watch a monkey wearing skinny jeans constantly checking his iPhone. The resurgence of spats would improve things greatly, I think.

A larger version featuring very droll copy can be found on the WFMU blog here.

Luney toons

You’ve got your Japanese moon, your Chinese moon, your German moon, your Soviet-era Russian moon, your British prog moon, but today I’m in the mood for a good old Disney moon.

Stuffed shit

I suppose that when you’re learning taxidermy, your first projects don’t look that great.

They’re embarrassing to have around the house with their craft store eyes and weird overbites; it’s like they’re mocking you at every turn. How are you going to get rid of them? You spent an awful lot of time on those R2D2 rats. It would be a shame to just throw them away. Hey, what about eBay?

Somewhere, someone is bound to need a good latex spider monkey. It’s worth a shot; Mom says you have to get it out of the house immediately.

A startling vivid revelation of savage rites

Has it really been less than a year since Benny and I first met our friend G.E.T. via a sign he left on the LA River bike path? It seems like so much longer than that, somehow. We’ve had so many wonderful adventures with him and his cohorts already. Why, just this past weekend we:

and later on we:

Of course, things eventually devolved into:

but overall, I think we stayed focused on the higher task at hand. That task? Art, of course. Blackmail’s out of the picture, as none of us have any money to speak of. It’s ART, I tell you.

My little monkeyface

You know when you find something by accident on your boyfriend’s computer, and you’re not sure if you’re happy you found it because now you know a lot more about your boyfriend or you’re sad because you wish you had never seen it?

News you can believe in

I find that when I get too busy at work, I fall behind in keeping up with the news. And when I can’t keep up with the news, I get a strange feeling of alienation; somebody starts making cracks about Miss California and I have no idea what they’re talking about. I need a news digest program that can help me out. Preferably one with more snap to it than those boring Sunday morning news wrap-up shows.

Of course I’m ambivalent about the angry gorilla commentator, but other than that, I think I’ve found my new MacNeil and Lehrer. Thanks, guys.