I don’t know, Helen. I’m pretty happy that Benny just called a cleaning crew instead.
An eye for patriotism
I know you’re probably already getting set to celebrate the day our northern neighbor got its independence united three British colonies into one British colony by getting out your toques and novelty hockey gear, but I’d like to propose that this year you might want to step up your look with a little extra glamor. Why not make this Canada Day one to remember?
I may have mentioned before that I am a bit of a slob, so I’m not normally a person you should look to for glamor tips, but I do have a friend named Miss Ziffel who is not only glamorous but also very generous with her beauty tips. Today Miss Ziffel is going to share her secret to beautiful eyelashes. Take it away, Miss Ziffel.
today I made my own false eyelashes out of MY HAIR!
how??
1. i cut some of my hair
2. glued it to my eye w/ eyelash glue*! WAH LAH!
CURL hairs first! since putting a curling iron that close to yr eyebawls is scary!
Thank you for the tip, Miss Ziffel. Tonight I will chug maple syrup shots with my best face forward.
*Editor’s note: If you are a slob like me, you probably do not have any real eyelash glue in your house. I can attest that glue stick works as fine substitute.
Sexy super flower pop op warning
I know I haven’t posted a lot lately. I have a good reason though, I promise. A while ago I ingested this stuff that is actually legal but I don’t know why, and ever since then I’ve been hearing horns and seeing nuns and brides with glittery pasties and soldiers everywhere, and man, am I a wreck. Ladies and gentlemen, don’t ever tell you that I didn’t warn you about the majestic terror of Afri Cola:
via Coudal
And be merry
I applaud everyone who has made a resolution to eat better this year, but I would like to remind people that eating better doesn’t mean just mean eating less or eating more healthfully. It means eating better; eat good food and enjoy yourself while you’re doing it. And the role model that madamjujujive, eugenen at metafilter, and I would probably direct you to for this lesson is Miss Platnum. Speaking as a person who has played a trombone in a hot tub, I can tell you that Miss Platnum knows how to have a good time.
The Blue Flame
If a hardhat-wearing ape, an effeminate robot, and a gaggle of sexy nurses stop you on the street one day and ask you to tell them a story about a time you got injured, you should do it. Your story might be immortalized in paper dolls.
(Warning: video NSFW because of puppet nudity)
For all your Bauhaus flooring needs
Never take an art history class that is scheduled just after lunchtime. You’ll stay awake long enough to know that the overall aesthetic of Carpet Town’s mural is heavily influenced by the works of Kandinsky and Oskar Fischinger,
but the food coma will kick in just before you find out where the hand came from.
Do you like worms?
If I grew up in a place where they had to tell me not to poop outside unless I wanted to get worms, I guess I would be okay with it if it were a frog puppet named Ro-Revus telling me not to poop outside. I guess.
via the genius that is everlasting blort
The poisonous celebrity Max is on the stick
I found a story today on neatorama about people in South Korea finding a way to use their iPhone touch screens while still wearing gloves, but isn’t it more fun to go to the source of the story and do a transliteration instead?
‘…Liu also touch maekseubong sausages, such as a known fact that iPhone users said they ‘do not want to take off the gloves in the winter cold, the only bee Max’ or yiramyeo experiences and use them to the Internet while sales soared Max rods.
Max Peak 9 days CJ Corporation’s main selling convenience store sales result of Sir Roy, had a special little despite two months from December to January last year, 11 billion revenue last year increased by 39% over the same period was .
CJ Corporation maekseubong gimminseop manager of brand managers, “maekseubong tagitcheung and this just fits the iPhone user base, while the poisonous celebrity, Max is on the stick,” said, “iPhone users to target promotions, including one maekseubong maekseubong this opportunity to inform a variety of brands as of how to plan, “he said.’
The trouble with multi-tasking
Walk the dogs or pick up the birthday cake from the bakery. Doing both at the same time is just asking for it. Especially if you like playing with statues.
Icicle, Icicle
Hooray, it’s autumn! I can tell it’s autumn because the current temperature in Los Angeles is 90°, but according to weather.com, it only feels like 87°. Hooray for autumn! Sometimes it’s easier to deal with autumn in Los Angeles by pretending you’re the only person alive after the next ice age has hit, and you’re naked, and you’re on a bicycle. Of course, if you’re naked and on a bicycle, you’re probably from Portland, and you probably don’t have problems with 90° weather on the 25th of September. I’m not in Portland right now, so I’m just going to have to pretend I’m naked on a bike. Want to join me?
