I ride my bike, I roller skate, don’t drive no car
Don’t go too fast, but I go pretty far
For somebody who don’t drive
I been all around the world
Some people say, I done all right for a girl
Brand new key
Tangled
Lately I’ve been feeling like this dog:
except with more tripping and falling and giving up. Keep running, dog.
Synapses in need of some dusting
My brain feels so cluttered with useless stuff right now. I can’t get to the important things because they are buried under piles of celebrity breakups and makeup tips from 5-year-olds and fantastic deals on vacation getaways. My brain should be featured on an episode of Hoarders. I tried to solve an algebra “Train A vs. Train B” word problem the other day (“just for fun”), and I swear I uncovered a mummified cat.
via WFMU’s Beware Of The Blog
Helter Skelter Wash ‘n’ Wax
Funny, but I’m not finding a lot of information on what appears to be a new work by Paul McCarthy installed at a Koreatown carwash:
I’m pretty sure it’s by McCarthy. The similarity between those arms and Spaghetti Man/Tomato Head Hands is striking, no?
I have to admit I’m not sure what Kim Kardashian symbolizes. Maybe she’s going to be smeared with poop?
Belated
Yesterday was my brother’s birthday, and once again I failed to find the birthday present for him that I have been pursuing for at least a year. I’m not going to reveal what this present is, in case my brother is reading this right now and I manage to find this present by some stroke of fantastic luck at some point in the future. I haven’t given up hope, and I wouldn’t want to spoil the surprise. All I’ll say is that this elusive present would fit well into our tradition of giving each other terrible canned food products for holidays.
In the meantime, dear Brother, please enjoy this piece of bacon cake made by Jasmin Schuller:
No thanks? Okay, how about a sundae tartare?
via the everlasting blort
Underpants weather
I thought it was supposed to cool down today. Dang, it’s hot enough to fry an egg on a tree:
via Nothing Is New
Floss on toast
It must be difficult to get a decent breakfast at artist Judith Klausner‘s house:
Please pass the cereal?
via Metafilter
An important day
Do you know what today is, folks? Do you know? Thirty-two years ago today, Jimmy Carter had to defend himself from a rabid swamp rabbit. My, how time flies. What? Who’s Jimmy Carter?
Aw, go back to your sofas and Doritos. I don’t care.
Where you can taste the fun
According to a new arty data project by R. Luke DuBois, the women in Oklahoma are very, very bored and lonely. At first I was thinking that the women of eastern Oklahoma should just try to get together with the men of southern New Mexico, who overwhelmingly identify themselves as kinky, but it appears that that women of southern West Virginia, western Colorado, and most of Arizona could be formidable competition in any sort of hetero matchup (also, what’s going on in southeastern Iowa?).
So maybe you Okie ladies can just organize a Girl’s Night Out at Molly Murphy’s House of Fine Repute?
What’s that, you say? It’s closed? Well, maybe you can amuse yourselves by emailing Da Moose.
