This week I spent a bit of time sewing a calico snail with the intention of giving it to a friend’s baby as a birthday gift. Now that I look at the finished snail, however, I’m thinking it would fare better facing a three-headed dragon than a one-year-old. Sigh. Off to the store.
There was a time when I would mock a person for having a foldy bike.
I’m glad I have matured somewhat. What I wouldn’t give for that bike today….
I’m having some trouble figuring out if tonight is the vernal equinox because of Daylight Saving Time, or if it’s tomorrow. I’m not sure it really matters.
ETIQUETTE: The vernal equinox is a lot like Easter. You hunt eggs and decorate everything in pastel colors, and crocuses, bunnies and chicks figure prominently. You pray for rebirth, you light candles and give thanks for the return of the Sun, and… well, it’s just Easter but you call it Ostara. Oh wait – don’t ever call it Ostara. Only an idiot would call it Ostara. Call it Lady Day instead, and you have half a chance of fooling some Christian into celebrating it with you because they think they’re remembering the day Mary found out she was pregnant.
SUPERSTITION: On the day of the vernal equinox, you can make an egg stand on its end. You can make a broom stand on its end. On the day of the… oh, hold on a minute. I just can’t go on with this. Everybody except for your local TV news reporter knows that this stuff about standing things on end during the equinox is a bunch of hooey, right? So let’s get down to some actual important things to know about the equinox.
Rabbits are kind of crazy around the vernal equinox, and rabbits are ruled by the moon, and the moon affects the weather, and so the equinox has a tendency to bring bad storms. Rats; it’s been a few years since I had to write mathematical proofs. I may have left out some steps in the logic above. But yeah. The equinox brings some crazy weather, including earthquakes. Oh, but earthquakes aren’t caused by rabbits; they’re caused by the giant beast Leviathan, who sleeps across the equinoxes (his head is at the autumnal equinox and his tail is at the vernal equinox) and like the rest of us has to move around in his sleep. Except he only really moves around every 72 years or so the earthquakes don’t come every year or anything, and… uh, maybe if you’re talking about this with Christians or Jews you should use the name Typhon instead of Leviathan because they have a whole lot of other beliefs about Leviathan and then you’re not just talking about the weather.
Let’s just stick to the simple stuff. Water is unfit to drink on the equinox because it has been tainted with blood. It might be Lilith’s menstrual blood, it might be the blood of John the Baptist, it could be blood from a fight between Leo and Scorpio. Never you mind that. Just keep it at blood and don’t drink it and you should be fine.
UPDATE: 7.4 magnitude earthquake this afternoon in Oaxaca. Settle down, Leviathan.
Photo by sea turtle on Flickr
Good job with the hammer, Baby! You’ve got a solid future as a surrealist.
I ride my bike, I roller skate, don’t drive no car
Don’t go too fast, but I go pretty far
For somebody who don’t drive
I been all around the world
Some people say, I done all right for a girl
Call me crazy, but I don’t think $450 is too much to pay for these lovely Ron Ulicny skates. The fur lining is practical for chilly mornings, no?
I wish I could have gotten a better photo of this, but the tape job was rather extensive for me to have removed it temporarily, and I felt like I needed to leave it unmolested on the lightpole. Anyway, it cheered me up to see this. I am taking the viewpoint that “prooving” is not a misspelling, but poetic license in order to emphasize author Jennifer’s gratitude.
I can almost hear her, and I think I can even see her dancing around as well. Nice work, Mr. Anonymous Good Samaritan.
We’ve discussed neighborhood architectural amazement Castle Grayskull here before. The sconces, the stained glass depictions of medieval knights, the retractable flails, the guard zebra. At one point, Benny noted that all it needed was a moat. Et voila, the front entrance
now has a moat.
Upon seeing the moat, Benny’s eight-year-old son remarked with some concern about the problems a person might have if they were, say, carrying groceries and running into the house in a hurry. What if they tripped?
I don’t think there’s cause for alarm, myself. For one thing, I believe that every move made by the owners of Castle Grayskull will be sure-footed, and for another thing, I don’t think these guys have to buy groceries. I’m pretty sure they have a trained falcon that provides them with all the food they need. But I was curious about the moat, as it’s currently empty.
What will it be filled with? Tiny alligators? Acid? Fire? I can’t wait to see this.