Lost her mind

Hey, you know how that phrase “Christ, what an asshole” works as a good substitute caption for every New Yorker cartoon as well as for the last panel of most other comics? I found another place it can work – this story about lost pet flyer vigilante Marilyn White-Sedel. From the Studio City Patch (via laist):

“It’s ugly, it causes garbage, it’s illegal and no one is doing a thing about it except for me,” said White-Sedel, who has lived in Studio City for most of her life.

“The worst part of it is that after their sale, the people don’t even come by and clean up their mess and take the signs down,” she said. …

Over the years, White-Sedel said, she has seen signs become an increasing blight to Studio City. She brought her case again last week to the Studio City Neighborhood Council, and asked for help. …

“I’m the only one taking the signs down; it’s a terrible sight in some neighborhoods—awful,” she said. “I could use some help.”

She brought some of the signs she recently collected from her neighborhood to the SCNC meeting. She said sometimes she brings the signs to the people holding the sale and points out they are illegal. …

“One recent sign I took down was from a cat that was lost for three months,” she concluded. “Those people should realize that the coyotes got that cat a long time ago.”

Maybe I shouldn’t call her an asshole. Thanks to her I now know that Studio City has a lot of pet flyers for me to check out.

Iron deficiency

The Hairpin has recently been studying the sociology treatise What Is A Wife and as a result revealed to the world the mysterious Rule #3 of proper female spousery: the ability to “…make supper for a guest out of two cans and a head of lettuce.”

Perhaps this is why I failed as a wife – I didn’t even know I was supposed to be able to make supper for a guest out of two cans and a head of lettuce, let alone be able to perform the task. I can, however, make “a grand new full-meal soup” out of five cans and a carton thanks to my Better Homes & Gardens book Meals In Minutes. 

SOUP-KETTLE SUPPER

1 can condensed cream of vegetable soup
1 can condensed cream of chicken soup
1 can condensed onion soup
2 cups milk
1 8-ounce can cream-style corn
1 4-ounce can Vienna sausage

Mix soups together; stir in milk and corn. Slice sausage links in coins; add. Cover; heat slowly, stirring often till soup comes just to boiling. Makes 6 servings.

No lettuce required, though I do need something inside the cans. Take that, What Is A Wife.

Photo by EraPhernalia Vintage on Flickr

Degloving

I don’t know, Helen. I’m pretty happy that Benny just called a cleaning crew instead.

Thanks, Rebecca Lynn!

Fresh links

I may have mentioned once or twice or a hundred times before that I once spent a summer selling hot dogs across the street from the Haunted Toys R Us in Sunnyvale. I keep mentioning it because I will never forget how much fun it was. I didn’t have as much fun as Oswald the Lucky Rabbit, but my hot dogs never ran away from me.

Helter Skelter Wash ‘n’ Wax

Funny, but I’m not finding a lot of information on what appears to be a new work by Paul McCarthy installed at a Koreatown carwash:

I’m pretty sure it’s by McCarthy. The similarity between those arms and Spaghetti Man/Tomato Head Hands is striking, no?

I have to admit I’m not sure what Kim Kardashian symbolizes. Maybe she’s going to be smeared with poop?

 

Passage of time

One day ago:

• a blind sailor tried to teach me how to tie some knots, but I was too clumsy.
• I saw two blue whales. Not dumpy, lice-ridden gray whales; blue whales. The biggest animal in the world. Maybe ever.

Thirty years and one day ago:

• This video came out and revealed how tiny Pete Shelley’s body was in relation to his head.

Funny how some days can be so different.

via New Wave Time Warp, via Metafilter

Husky

Seems to me that Kitty has had about enough of this “answer(ing) to Fatty” business.

Circular seasoning

Hold on a minute, smartypants Kari Schuster. I know you’re all proud of yourself for making a pizza-flavored pizza out of Pizza Supreme Doritos, Pizzalicious Pringles, Pepperidge Farm Flavor Blasted Xplosive Pizza Goldfish crackers, Pepperoni Pizza Combos, and pizza-flavored hummus,

but what is the base made of? I won’t go as far as commenter Obamacare to denounce your creation with the pronouncement “that’s disgusting and you should feel bad,” but I am disappointed by the suspiciously natural-looking tortilla you have there. Step it up next time.

The dangers of fiber

If this is what eating more fruits and vegetables gets you, I think I’m going to stick with my cheese-butter-bacon diet, thank you very much.

Sherlock homo sapiens

After all the birth and death and general tumult of last week, I’ve been laying a bit low the past few days. But apparently the monkeys have not.

Initially reported as a “girl attacks macaque” story, 8-year-old Tayce Nickel’s father gives Gawker his recollection of the ugly incident that took place last Friday in a Missouri Wal-Mart parking lot:

“We parked directly beside the vehicle the owner of the monkey was sitting in (Eugene Pully). A gentleman was standing by the vehicle when we pulled up [who was] talking to [the monkey], which drew our attention to the animal. As we got out of the minivan my daughter wanted to see the monkey, with her mother standing right beside her. Standing even with the driver window, and at what we thought was a safe distance from the animal, she waved and said, ‘Hi monkey’.

“The animal then lept from the driver door onto her, grasping her hair and biting her forehead.”

But wait. There’s something weird. In the initial story, Weeks says, “As we got out, Tayce, being 8 years old, wanted to see the monkey, so she got out, looked up at the monkey, said, ‘Hi,’ and he gave the animal just enough slack to where it could jump out, grab her by her hair, and bite her on the forehead.” But in the email to Gawker excerpted above, Weeks says that Pully was outside the vehicle. Charlie’s owner was outside the vehicle but holding him inside the vehicle with a leash?

If anybody can explain to me how this would work, I’d love to hear it. If you draw me a diagram of the incident as you understand it, I’ll use your rendering as an update to this post.

UPDATE: Oh, wait. I just read this again. The “gentleman” outside the vehicle was another person talking to the monkey, and not the monkey’s owner who was inside the car? Where was he when all this happened? SOMEBODY FIND THE GENTLEMAN.

Photo by Sappymoosetree on Flickr