Upon review of this cartoon as an adult, I have a bone to pick with Maurice Sendak and Sesame Street. Watching this as a child, this cartoon led me to believe that I could have a job that required me to work less than 29 minutes per day, and I would still be able to afford hats and wine. Bah. Where is this fabled Smith & Klein?
Button, button…
A friend recently gave me two big boxes of buttons. There are a lot of really good buttons in there, but unfortunately there are also a lot of grey buttons, and I just don’t know what to do with them. Grey. I don’t have a very good relationship with grey. I can’t even decide how to spell it. Apparently spellcheck prefers “gray.” Anyway.
I know; they look blue in the photo. Trust me – they’re gray. Grey. Eh. I was thinking about anonymously donating these to the artist Clare Graham, but he makes things out of thousands of buttons. What does he need with less than 100 grey buttons? Ugh. Phooey. These buttons are making me feel inadequate. I need to get rid of them. So they’re today’s Fancy Notions offering. Someone must have a use for them. One of you, perhaps.
You could make a button landscape of a stormy sky. You could become an eccentric collector. You could replace all the buttons on your red coat. You could do a lot of things with a lot of buttons like this.
As always, if you want these buttons, just write in to the comments section indicating your desire for them. The first person with a hint of sincerity in their comment will get these mailed to them, free of charge from me.
Etiquette & superstition: more about fish
I know; I’ve already written about fish. There are a lot of superstitions regarding fish and the eating of same, and the etiquette is nearly as intricate. I think I might stick with macaroni and cheese.
ETIQUETTE: If you are at a fancy dinner, you might find that your place setting has three forks and three knives. Going in from the outside, the first knife and fork are your salad utensils, and the second knife (the cutlass-like pointy one) and fork are your fish utensils. If you are served a whole fish with the head and tail on, you are supposed to remove the head and then hold the fish knife as you would a pencil or scalpel and remove the meat from amongst those tiny, tiny bones. In Russia, you are not supposed to use a knife while eating fish, but you may use two fish forks to separate the meat from the bones.
SUPERSTITION: When eating a whole fish, the fish is served on its side. When you get halfway down into the fish where the bones are, you should peel the bones up by pulling on the spine at the tail in order to get to the rest of the fish meat. Do not flip the fish over, as this will make a fisherman’s (or perhaps the next traveler’s) boat flip over. If you start to choke on a fish bone, you can either put a piece of bread on your head or pull on your big toe. That should fix things.
Photo by Joseph Wu Origami on flickr
We want guns. Guns are power.
Was it Conquest of the Planet of the Apes where the apes finally got guns? That was a really scary movie. Thankfully it was just a movie. Right?
Contrary to reports by the Chinese newspaper People’s Daily, LiveScience says the Taliban probably isn’t having any luck training macaques and baboons to shoot guns at American soldiers:
‘”They can be trained to do things like turn off lights and open faucets and so on, but eventually that breaks down,” said William Mason, a psychologist and professor emeritus at the University of California, Davis. “If we’re talking about animals going out into the field or a fortress with an AK-47 or whatever, it seems very, very implausible.”‘
Implausible. I’d feel a little better if he had used the word “impossible,” but I’ll take what I can get.
via The Awl
Spider-man
In honor of last week’s ComicCon, I thought I’d highlight a little ’20s cosplay today. I really like the polite clapping at the end of the clip.
Thanks for the link, Auriana!
Summer hours
Someone should really use some of their leisure time and post a high-resolution version of this:
and all in one post, too:
Not me, of course. I’m way too busy screwing off.
This joke is so very very tired
How does one get this idea into one’s head? The LA Times reports:
MEXICO CITY — A man with a mysterious bulge under his T-shirt was stopped, searched and detained at Mexico City’s international airport after authorities found 18 tiny endangered monkeys in a girdle he was wearing.
The Public Safety Department said in a statement Monday that 38-year-old Roberto Cabrera arrived on a commercial flight Friday from Lima, Peru, when authorities noticed the bulge and conducted a body search.
The department says Cabrera was carrying the 6-inch titi monkeys in pouches attached to the girdle.
via neatorama
Repetition repetition
We dig repetition
We dig repetition
We’ve repetition in the lost pet flyer
And we’re never going to lose it.
All you daughters and sons
who are sick of fancy lost pet flyers
We dig repetition
Repetition on Buddy’s lost pet notice
and we’re never going to lose it.
Apologies to Mark E. Smith
Diagnosis
“Mr. Corncob, your MRI results are in and I’m happy to say that you and your entire family look very healthy.”
“Ms. Artichoke, your heart appears normal.”
“Mr. Durian, I believe I’ve found the source of your terrible smell. You seem to be harboring a flock of demon spirits in your belly. We really should do more testing.”
More fruit/vegetable MRIs here, via metafilter
