The Notions is going to take a brief vacation while I recharge some brain batteries. Miss me, please.
I think therefore I am… not a football coach
Wow. Benny and I have been watching an awful lot of soccer lately. All the games are starting to melt into one another, and into other parts of my brain.
Eggs and cheese and origami
Apparently the Pizza Kids are from Germany. This is useful information, because now I know that I should never order pizza in Germany. It sounds like a mess.
Spending your inheritance
Perhaps because I cared for a very old and very skinny cat for several years, this lost pet flyer has worried me more than most:
I hope Gramps here just snuck out of the retirement villa for a little whoopin’ it up down at the whiskey joint, and not something else.
Word of the day for Wednesday, June 23rd
How’s my widdle wuggums today? My widdle iddle iggums? Are you having a day full of
? ‘Cause I am, snuggle uggle bug. Hypocorism means to talk in baby talk. How’s the widdle ism?
Etiquette & superstition: apples
Miss Manner is such a crabapple sometimes; I really do love her.
ETIQUETTE: Miss Manners hates a TV party. She hates a TV party so much, presumably because you’re sitting in the dark with eyes glued to the television screen and not socializing, that she feels that the only appropriate food to serve at a TV party is that which is not ruined if dropped on the floor. She suggests apples.
SUPERSTITION: Apples are really helpful when you’re trying to determine your true love. Every schoolgirl knows that if you recite the alphabet while you twist the apple stem, the letter that the stem breaks on signifies the first letter of your true love’s name. You can also determine your true love’s name by peeling your apple and throwing the apple peel on the ground. The peel will form the first letter.
What if you think you have two loves, however (you fickle thing), and you want to know which is the true one? Just take two apple seeds and name them the names of your loves, then stick them on your forehead. The seed that stays on your forehead the longest has the same name as your true love.
Photo by perpetualplum on flickr
The cat’s pajamas
I had so much trouble waking up this morning. If only I had the prospect of drunk chickens and jump-roping to look forward to at work, maybe it wouldn’t be such a trial to get out of bed.
UPDATE: This post would make a little more sense with the accompanying cartoon. Not much more, but a little more. Please stand by while technical difficulties are sorted out (hopefully).
UPDATED UPDATE: Oh, I give up. Just go here. I’m going back to bed.
UPDATED UPDATED UPDATE: Hey, looky – it seems to be working now. See what good a little nap will do for a person?
Lemon lime
It seems I can’t remember any playground rhymes any more, which is too bad because I wanted to use one or two for today’s Fancy Notions offering.
Lemon jello
dressed in yellow
how many times did she kiss a fellow?
That’s definitely not right. Anyway, what we have here today are some lengths of velvet or satin green and yellow ribbon. You could use them to trim a party dress, or you could tie them all together and make a really upscale jump rope. If only I could remember one of those rhymes.
Peachy keen
dressed in green
how many years ’til she’s a teen?
Hmm. Anyway, if you would like this tangle of ribbon, just write in to the comments section. The first person to write in who doesn’t sound like he or she is pulling my leg about wanting the ribbons gets ‘em for free.
Word of the day for Wednesday, June 16th
So lazy. I don’t know if it’s a Flag Day hangover or just summer fever that’s setting in, but I am so lazy. I just want to sit on a beach and stare at Benny in a bathing suit while he frolicks in the surf. I have a serious case of
Lavacultophilia. The desire to stare at someone in a bathing suit.
