Pig monkey

I wanted to wait a few weeks before posting this story, because I wasn’t sure something horrible wasn’t going to happen as a result of it. It seems that a province in southern Thailand has brought a pig-tailed macaque monkey on to its police force.

And while I’ve seen some photos showing Officer Santisuk here getting a little yell-y and mooning the general populace, in general it seems that he hasn’t gotten drunk with power. Nobody’s face has been bitten off yet, which is more than some police forces here in the States can attest to. Keep it up, Santisuk, and maybe someday you’ll make detective.

Crazy that this even needs to be mentioned

There has been a recent street art campaign in Los Angeles consisting of simple wheatpasted posters depicting a bicycle “sharrow” along with the simple words “Caution – Please Pass With Care.” It’s in the same vein of the guy who installed a perfect replica of a CalTrans sign on the 110 freeway so that fellow motorists would be alerted to the upcoming (and otherwise unmarked) left exit to the 5 freeway. I guess this could be called transportation good samaritan vandalism. I have to say I’m in favor of it, even though I don’t understand why it has to come to the point that people have to technically break the law in order to make things  safer for the general public.

Anyway, as things do, this trend has made its way to New York, and has been executed in a very fine manner. Well done, New York, as always.

Word of the day for Monday, April 26th

Today’s word sounds like its definition is obvious.

Elfmill. Either a mill where elves work or a mill where elves are made. Ha. Easy.

Hold on a minute, shep. According to the Obsolete Word of the Day, “elfmill” is the sound a worm makes as it eats through the wood in your house. I’ll have to listen more closely, I guess.

Uh oh, it’s a cockaroach

Via Kliph Nesteroff of WFMU’s Beware of the Blog, who had a much different experience than I did at the TCM film festival

Cats and racks

1900 block of E. First Street, Los Angeles:

“You know, Pearl, lately I’ve been thinking about how lousy this place has gotten the past few months. I don’t know why I don’t just quit.”

“You’re telling me, Fern. I can’t even get a tip doing my bubble bath in a champagne glass routine anymore. It’s come to the point where I can’t afford the bubble solution any more.”

“Not like it matters, of course. Nobody’s even watching the floor show now that we got that stupid pool table set up in the front…”

“HEY, TOOTS! Where’s our drinks? Me and Jack are panting our tongues off over here!”

“(sigh) Coming, sir. One invisible martini and one bottle of moonshine. That’s twelve dollars, please.”

Everything nice

Sugar is a narcissist.

Etiquette & superstition: smoking

The only person I know who was able to keep not only the cigarette smoke from her mouth but also the cigarette smoke from her idle cigarette away from all others in her general vicinity was a very refined beauty indeed. Unfortunately, she was also crazy as a shithouse rat.

ETIQUETTE: (from 1864′s The Habits of Good Society, via Edwardian Promenade) “.. if you smoke, or if you are in the company of smokers, and are to wear your clothes in the presence of ladies afterwards, you must change them to smoke in. A host who asks you to smoke, will generally offer you an old coat for the purpose. You must also, after smoking, rinse the mouth well out, and, if possible, brush the teeth.”

SUPERSTITION: If a campfire is smoking in your direction, you merely need to say, “I hate rabbits. I hate rabbits!” in order to send the smoke in another direction.

The yield signs are really a nightmare

I recently drove through my hometown on the way to San Francisco, and came upon some curious traffic signs. I know that the Bay Area prides itself on being literate, but I’ve never seen so much writing on simple “slow down” signs:

Also, what is a traffic calming measure? If it means I get a glass of warm milk and a story during rush hour, I’m moving back to Sunnyvale toute de suite.

Red velvet* morning

Upon a suggestion from the Everlasting Blort, I went to a gallery today to check out some items from Scott Hove’s Cakeland. My favorite piece was the Kaleidoscope Cake, which made an infinite cake when you looked into it. I’d also love to have a pair of the cake shoes. It’s funny; I don’t actually like eating most cake, but I would give almost anything to live in Cakeland.

*In my opinion, red velvet cake is the worst tasting cake in the world, but it sure looks pretty.

Fancy Notions #19

The computer – she is up and running again. What a relief. It’s a little distressing to discover my dependence on this machine, but I’m not going to think about that too much. I am going to think about how victorious I feel to have the Fancy Notions back on track. In fact, today’s Fancy Notions offering is of a victory theme.

Gold braid, a rose bouquet patch, a champagne cork, and a small mirror to admire how fabulous you are now that you’re a winner. The gold brain even comes with suggestions about what to do with it, in case you’re facing a creative block.

If you want to be a Fancy Notions winner, just write in the comments section expressing your desire to have these items. The first person to write in (unless he/she seems really insincere) will receive the notions free of charge. Good luck, winner!