Weather forecast

Yesterday’s shutdown of Denver’s daily paper Rocky Mountain News is being reported in the media (the still-alive media, at least) as sort of a “Pop’s Soda Shoppe Makes Its Final Egg Cream” story – ie., it’s very sad, but where is there space in the world for this dinosaur?  The “print media is dying” story is so old that they aren’t even bringing it up at this point. Even “print media is dead” is no longer a bold statement; it’s being taken in 2009 as a well-proven fact.

People, before it’s too late, let’s just stop a moment to think. I know that getting rid of magazine subscriptions might help end child slavery, and moms worldwide have stopped sending their children newspaper clippings in favor of forwarding annoying email gags, but can we really do without hard copy periodicals? How are we going to keep warm in the winter? How are we going to make decorative beads and navy admiral hats? How are magazine covers going to be able to interact with one another in a humorously animated manner?

Pillow talk

You may have noticed that I’ve been a little remiss here and there the past few days on updating the Notions. I must apologize. The truth is, my job has been frustrating me to the point of exhaustion lately. At work I’ve been alternating between working furiously, holding my head in my hands, and punching myself for making certain foolish departmental decisions; and then at home I’ve been reduced to sitting on the couch to fret and nurse my typing-related tendinitis. Not the best environment for cultivating a Fancy Notion.

Well, of course there’s a solution, and a fashionable one at that. The Pillow Ring. Behold:

Those self-inflicted punches to the face aren’t going to hurt nearly as much now. Unfortunately, I am a cheapskate, and the $25 price tag is kind of putting me off. It doesn’t seem like it’s that difficult to make, but I’m just too beat to take on even a simple project like this at the moment. It’s like making coffee some mornings – you need to have some coffee in you before you’re alert enough to make any coffee.

I thought I might be able to find a cheaper alternative online. Unfortunately, “pillow ring” is one of those search terms that comes up with some unpleasant results. Bleagh. Maybe I’ll just shell out the damn 25 clams.

Why yes, I speak European

Okarola at No Cats On The Blog, please let us know where you found this list:

I have a feeling this is a hoax, but I do want to know what was crossed out. Also, who is Steve?

Confess all your cured, salty sins

When I was a kid, my parents involved the family in a spiritual group called Creative Initiative. One of the purposes of the group was to show how all scientific disciplines and religions were seeking answers to the same questions, and this demonstrated some sort of universal spirituality inherent in the universe. Something like that.

Anyway, one year we celebrated all the major holidays for all the world’s major religions. Or so I thought. One of the holidays we did not celebrate was Shrove Tuesday. Shrove Tuesday, I have come to learn this morning, is not only the day you confess all your sins, but the day you are supposed to eat a lot of pancakes.

I cannot believe we missed this holiday. And because I didn’t learn the true meaning of Shrove Tuesday until after breakfast this morning, I am going to have to rectify my non-pancake eating status at dinner tonight.

I have also recently learned that slate.com has declared the fad of baconmania to be over and done with, so in the interest of a more delicious dinner self-sacrifice for my fellow man, I will be willing to take any now-uncool bacon off any Fancy Notions reader’s hands. I will also accept any unloved chicken fried bacon and bacon mayonnaise. No need to thank me; it’s just part of my quest to become a bigger human being.

Word of the day for Monday, February 23rd

Today’s word is a good example of the screwiness of the English language:

Cholmondeley is an English family name. It’s also a village in Cheshire. There’s nothing really spectacular about Cholmondeley other than its pronunciation:

chumly

Huh.

I will not make a pun about udders here

I was doing a little cartoon research this morning, and while I was reading about the popularity of robot cartoons in the ’30s, I came across this in a book called Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies by Jerry Beck and Will Friedwald:

“There was also a sub-cycle of robot cow cartoons…”

Robot cow cartoons. I of course went straight to youtube to further investigate. I wasn’t able to find the cartoons noted in the book, but I did find a ’20s precursor to the genre.

One thing I’m finding about ’20s cartoons is that they don’t seem as racist as cartoons from the ’30s. They’re so weird that there’s no room for stupid racist gags. Hey wait – does this cartoon hold the solution to a societal ill? If people were weirder they wouldn’t be as racist? Someone should work on this. I would myself, but I’m a little busy at the moment tracking down some milk for my cereal. I may need rollerskates.

I also believe this cartoon may hold the secret to defeating the smoke monster on Lost, but I’m not sure. I can’t think straight until I’ve had my cereal.

Gots a big head

Also gots eight legs.

A new wrinkle, and some advice

King George of Hollywood, I have a suggestion for you. When, in the midst of your introduction of a new character like Dr. Face-Off into your posted flyer saga,

make sure a huge storm isn’t about to hit. I know you’ve been trying to tell us about celebrity-killing Satan worshippers and three more deaths due to Face-Off, but

the rest is completely illegible after all that rain we had last week. Go back to Copymat and request a reprint with waterproof ink, please. Otherwise, I can’t help you.

The war continues

I go on vacation and what happens? A chimp gets killed after attacking a woman and trying to steal a cop car. People, do not feed your chimps wine. Do not teach them how to use the Water Pik. And above all, don’t tickle them.

No time for a nap

Not a very good place for one either, guy.