This first day of Spring is reminding me of a hotel in Texas I stayed in several years ago. My old rock’n'roll chamber orchestra went on a tour of the Midwest, and our first stopping point was Amarillo. It was really late by the time we got there, and we were all exhausted, so we checked in to the nearest hotel – The Fifth Season.
Our initial clue that this place was not a quality establishment was the old lice comb we found on the stairs. The second clue was the overwhelming stench of industrial deodorizing spray permeating the halls. We were too tired to try to find another place to stay, however, so we all went to bed.
In the morning, some of us went downstairs to check out the free breakfast buffet that had been much touted by the night clerk, and we weren’t disappointed. Well, we were pretty disappointed by the food, but the atrium in which we breakfasted was really something to behold.
First off, it was huge. There was an enormous cloudy indoor swimming pool infested with children before we got to the buffet area. That solved the question about the deodorizer spray. I think I may have preferred just a pure urine scent rather than that combined with the perfume odor, but that’s just my individual preference.
The buffet area itself was surrounded by fake trees decorated with combinations of seasonal props – one tree had apples and snow, one had blossoms and red leaves, et cetera. We decided they were representing the fifth season. Ah. There was quite a bit of discussion about the name of this fifth season: spummer, wall, sprinter, wing. After we ate up the hotel’s supply of cold toast, we decided we weren’t big fans of this proposed fifth season. Time to go.
I was a little sad to learn this morning that the Fifth Season Inn & Suites has recently been remodeled; where would all the birds perch during the long days of simmer? But a quick check of the Trip Advisor comments section comforted me that the hotel is at its heart still the same travel experience:
“Rooms were ok. Blood on sheets (…) Late night staff is busy sleeping in the back room.”
“This hotel is more out to protect their employees then the saftey of their guest. Not a freindly place to stay.”
“In the morning there was no coffee, no breakfast. We were told coffee would be ready at 5:30am, at 6:30am there was no coffee in sight. The man at the front desk was rude and just said, ‘I don’t know, maybe they over slept.’ Then he went back to watching his cartoons.”
“The room smelled heavily of urine as did many of the hallways. (…) The bed my friend slept in we discovered had skid marks the next morning when she got out of bed.”
Sounds great! Book your rooms for Fing Break now.