Traffic safety
That fairy tale neighborhood around here that I was writing about yesterday? I guess I should be more careful when I’m driving through it. That Prince Charming is a maniac.
via scrubbles.net
And the rest
A few weeks ago I shared some photos of the Snow White Cottage apartments here in Los Angeles, and also mentioned that a number of other residences in the area had the same sort of German forest fairy tale aesthetic to them. And then I left you hanging. Well, hang no more. Come into the story, why don’t you?
Over here we have the home of Snow White’s little sister Rose Red:
I came to a fork in the road, so I took it
Some friends and I took a field trip last night to the new fork in the road in Pasadena. It was smaller than I had expected from the LA Times photo, but still quite impressive.
According to some dream interpreters, to dream of being stabbed with a fork indicates that you are too picky with the ideas or suggestions presented to you.
Thanks in advance fork commenting.
Chapter one
The Iliad of lost pet notices showed up outside the local 7-11 last Friday. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that it took a month for Marguerite and Susie to get this out to the public.
Good luck, ladies.
Phrase of the day for Monday, November 9th
My friend Elana brought my attention this weekend to the art of Baragami, the practice of formal toast arranging. Much like the hairy sausage “craze,” I suspect that Baragami is a completely made-up phenomenon with no history other than the one imagined on the Baragami Home Page. I have to say “suspect” rather than “know for a fact,” however, because of the claim on said webpage that Baragami originated in Wales. And there’s something about Baragami
that does seem a bit Welsh, isn’t there? Something about the wonderful batshit craziness, I suppose. I mean that with the utmost respect, Welsh readers. I’m sure you know that.
Anyway, this is rather a long introduction to today’s word:
“Etaoin shrdlu” comes from an old typesetting practice of marking an error-filled line for deletion by completing the line with nonsense letters. Sometimes the line would not be deleted, and the phrase “etaoin shrdlu” (from the first two columns in a linotype keyboard) made its way into print a number of times. These days etaoin shrdlu just means nonsense. And like Baragami, there is something decidedly Welsh-seeming about it. God bless you, Wales. The world would be a much duller place without you.
Water closet
This summer at the Madonna Inn, I learned that if you get a hotel room that has a toilet with one of those fancy washlet bidet features, you should make sure that the wash water temperature is correctly adjusted. I’m not sure what you’re supposed to do if you get a toilet with eyes and a mouth, however. I believe bowing is involved but beyond that I’m just not sure. Hopefully I’ll never have to find out.
Spring preview
I’d like to take a moment to thank the peacock spider for saving Spring Fashions 2010 for me. Up until now, I had been feeling pretty glum about the new fashions being paraded about, as they were managing the difficult feat of being dull and absurd at the same time:
Designers: PANTS NEED POCKETS. There may be something else wrong with these trousers as well, but I’m having a little trouble pinning down exactly what it is because I’m so blinded with rage from the lack of pockets.
But back to the peacock spider. Thank you, Peacock Spider. For me, spring is about dancing and sex and funny hats. And you perfectly understand this.
Nicely executed. I bet you even have plenty of pockets in that outfit.
Your number one source
It’s a groundbreaking day here at the Notions. For the first day in I don’t know how many days, the top searches resulting in arrival at this site have not been “big butt panties,” “anorexic girls,” or “A1 steak sauce.” Taroo taray! Not to say that I don’t love big butt panties, anorexic girls, and A1 steak sauce, but I’m afraid people searching for those items might be disappointed when they arrive here.
I think the new stats indicate that I’m finally getting traffic sent here that actually wants to be sent here. Today’s top searches people used to find this site are:
- tricycle ruined
- snoopy cartoons
- beef jerky flickr
- sneezing etiquette
- anorexic girls (Damn it! Okay; it’s still on here, but it’s not #1 on the list today)
- washroom etiquette cartoons
- waiting for my sissy haircut and perm
- beer in jollibee menu
Welcome, searchers of beef jerky flickr. I hope you find what you’re looking for. Jollibee searchers, you may want to look elsewhere.
Fancy notions #16
I used to work with a woman who called those pre-sliced apples you buy in a bag from Trader Joe’s “Lazy Girls,” because really, how lazy do you have to be to buy pre-sliced apples? Pretty lazy. Anyway, she would often bring a bag of pre-sliced apples into the office and share them with anyone would wanted some, calling out in her cute Kentucky accent, “Who wants a Lazy Girl?” I loved the days that she brought Lazy Girls into the office.
Today’s Fancy Notions offering is kind of the Lazy Girl of craft projects. It can barely be called a project, in fact. It’s nearly a belt. You would have to be really unskilled to not be able to make these two elements into a belt.
You have the belt part:
and then you have the belt clasp so you don’t have to tie the ends of the belt together in a knot like a rube:
Clean up those stray threads, make a couple of stitches around the clasps, and voila… a delightful belt. The only reason I’m offering this package as a Fancy Notions prize is because I already made a belt just like this when I shortened the dress that this fabric came from. I guess I could make the fabric into a headband, but with the dress and the belt already in this fabric, I think a headband would be a little much.
So what are you doing this weekend? I think you should make a belt. First person who writes in to the comment section expressing his/her desire for these items* gets them in the mail. For free. From me. I promise I won’t think you’re lazy for making such an easy belt.
*The previous qualification “… or most sincere person who writes in…” has been temporarily suspended. The last notions giveaway had two people of equal sincerity who wrote in within 30 minutes of each other, and I had a bit of a crisis determining whether one was in fact more sincere than the other, and at the end I went by the timing. I still felt guilty wondering if I made anybody feel like they hadn’t been sincere enough. I will only employ this qualification again if the first person who writes in is obviously insincere.
