Word of the day for Tuesday, July 29th

I spent entirely too much time this morning looking for a “unique words” website I stumbled across earlier while doing some research. Back and forth, back and forth through my web history, through my previously closed tabs. Back and forth. Finally, I found it. In honor of that, I’m going to take a word from that site’s palindrome page for today’s word.

Glitter Text
Wow! Wow! Despite what you may remember from Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, a wow-wow is not a pig being cradled like a baby while a bunch of pepper is flying in the air. A wow-wow is a gibbon, particularly a silvery gibbon from Java.

Here is Duke the wow-wow going, “Whoa! Whoa!” on a couple of ropes. Duke’s mom-mom abandoned him at birth, but he seems to be doing fine now.

Etiquette & superstition: sandals

Mr. McCall was a teacher at my high school who wore flip-flops to work, much to the disgust of most of his students. “Shoes are coffins for the feet,” he’d say, “and my feet aren’t dead.” Eventually, of course, some wise-guy kid asked Mr. McCall why he wore a hat.

ETIQUETTE: Toes are an intimate body part. If you are someplace where it is considered inappropriate to show excessive cleavage, you shouldn’t be wearing sandals. Don’t wear sandals in an office. Don’t wear sandals to court. Don’t wear sandals when you’re competing in an international chess tournament.

As for some commonly-held sandal myths: yes, you actually can wear sandals in winter and sandals with socks, but only if you really know what you’re doing fashion-wise.

SUPERSTITION: You will have a romance by moonlight if you dream of wearing comfortable sandals. Burning a pair of sandals and inhaling the smoke will cure you of a headache. Putting on a new pair of sandals after 5 p.m. is unlucky, as is breaking the strap on a Japanese geta sandal.

Photo by genibee on Flickr

In a pickle

Benny just found a dead opossum in our kiddie pool. I don’t know if said opossum was attempting some raid on our cucumber plant, or if he drowned after monkey-wrenching a nearby dam, or what. Anything’s possible. Rest in peace, possum.

Bankrupt hostess

It’s happened again. I should know better; this always happens. We’re having some friends over for a simple dinner tonight, I couldn’t find the recipe for the spicy hot nuts, and now I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole of terrible hors d’oeuvres ideas from old recipe booklets.

I can’t really blame The Calvert Party Encyclopedia for its miserable-sounding ideas – snacks called Hot House, Tongue Treat, Cheese Breeze and the like – because the thing was compiled by a gin manufacturer who wanted to add a few more pages to their “hey, mix this with gin, and you could also try this with gin” marketing effort.

It’s this Good Housekeeping’s Appetizer Book that gives me pause. I believe I’ve discussed this book here before, but the last time I looked through it I don’t think I noticed the “I’ve given up” recipes. Here are a few examples in the “Quickies” section:

English Muffinettes: Spread split English muffins with butter or margarine; sprinkle with poppy, caraway, or celery seeds. Broil till bubbly; cut into wedges to serve.

Seasoned Popcorn: Pop a big bowlful of popcorn; sprinkle with seasoned salt.

Potato Chips: Heat in oven; serve in basket.

That’s just sad. I prefer the happy, bat-shit crazy attempts. Let’s try some Ham-Grape Pickups, shall we?

Ham-Grape Pickups

12 scalloped round crackers
1 2 1/2 oz. can deviled ham

About 1/4 cup commercial sour cream
6 halved, pitted green grapes

Just before serving: Spread each cracker with deviled ham; top with small mound of sour cream. Press grape half, rounded side up, into cream.  Makes 12

Or maybe you can try that. I just found the spicy hot nuts.

You’re never fully dressed without one

Last week I found this flyer in front of the vacant lot next door.

I just checked on the status. Only two more have been taken, so there are still a few left if you’re interested.

Published in: on July 21, 2014 at 6:52 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Out of the inkwell, into the fishtank

Poor Koko. Held captive, periodically mutilated, and drugged to boot. No wonder he acts up from time to time.

Oh, hey. Benny is having an open studio event at 1 pm tomorrow (Sunday, July 20th) where he will be selling Series Two of his amazing Klown Bricks and a bunch of other astounding art. If you are in the LA area, you should come by. If you’re not in the LA area and want to reserve a brick (check out the bricks here), comment here or send me a message ASAP and I’ll give you more info. Hooray for Klown Bricks!

Looks more like Chewbacca

Down along the LA River this week, we found two versions of a lost pet notice regarding Chuy the chihuahua.

Here’s the modest version:

And here’s the somewhat more grand version:

Eleven-year-old included for purposes of scale.

Published in: on July 18, 2014 at 3:59 pm  Leave a Comment  
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A little dab’ll do ya

Normally I find these teeth with teeth troubling, especially ones with those one long shelf tooth on top and one on the bottom, but

Super Molar here has a hairdo made of toothpaste. Come on. This guy is clearly a winner. He’s also blushing.

Thank you for finding Super Molar, Jenny Torpedo!

From upbeat magazines and television

What kind of world do we live in where a cheese cutting demonstration on YouTube gets over a million views and this one has less than a thousand? What kind of world?

Published in: on July 15, 2014 at 3:01 pm  Leave a Comment  
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Etiquette & superstition: cutting

My old writing partner recently reminded me of an entry I had written in our now long-abandoned etiquette book project. “The cut direct!” he said. “Did you completely make that up or is that real?” I couldn’t remember. I knew the cut direct was a real thing, but could not recall what on earth I had written about it.

Well, I unearthed one of our rough drafts, and found that the cut direct entry includes this tip: “Remember to use proper headgear. The pink pearlized ‘chiaroscuro’ helmet has been in fashion over the last few years, but the authors have found it not to provide adequate protection of the hypothalamus.” So, yes; that entry was completely made up. The item below is not.

ETIQUETTE: A cut direct is the practice of refusing to acknowledge another person’s greeting. A person says hello to you or bows, usually in public, and you just stand there staring at them. This is obviously to be employed only when wishing to completely sever a relationship. This is not the same as pretending not to recognize someone. This is a straight-up stoneface. Use it sparingly.

Additionally: men may not cut ladies, unmarried ladies may not cut married ladies, and people may not cut other people on the street.

SUPERSTITION: If you have been cut, you can heal your wound by simply cleaning and polishing the implement that delivered the cut. Put it away in a safe place while you’re at it. Pliny says that if you have cut someone else and you feel bad about it, spit into the hand you used to injure the person. They will start to feel better immediately.

Photo by Martin Deutsch on Flickr

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